So basically I've got the coolest set of friends any guy can ask for. My buddy Kenny's been my best mate since my freshman high school days, who lost touch, but reconnected our junior year since he moved back to the states. My buddy James is a new pal we met, but he's a genuine guy and he's fucking great. Our old buddy David, even though he's an annoying little shit head, he's like the love child of our little crew, so we love him regardless. Then you got our buddy Cody whom we met through Kenny, dude's all around a great guy and he's the most selfless dude just like myself, often giving rides to us or whatever of the sort, when he doesn't need to. The month of October, and the beginning of December are all proving to be some of the toughest times I've faced in my adult life so far. My father works for Boeing here in Long Beach, which if you've heard or not, the plant is getting shut down. Him and about ninety-five percent of the workers all got their lay off notice for November twenty-fifth. I need to find a job by then, which I obviously have not, just so I can cover SOME of the bills. So dealing with the struggle of trying to find work and my parents pressuring me to go to a trade school with the money we don't have currently, and in the future, obviously can't even afford to use for one of our many bills we have to pay, I often found solace and an escape in my friends I've listed above. The funny thing here is, my buddy Kenny has gone on and on and on about how great him and his lady are, constantly bugging me to "hurry up and get a chick so we can double date" and shit. Now I struggle with trying to get over/get back with my ex girlfriend who is the lovely little fucking piece of shit that has a death grip on my heart, that happens to be in this picture with me, so hearing him go on about how perfect his relationship is, not so much makes me jealous, but it just hits me in a spot because he has everything that I want, and he jams it down all of OUR throats. We've spent countless PSN parties where we talk about how much of a piece of shit Kenny is since we'll play Destiny to get away from responsibilities and all he does is go on about his lady. Though the funny thing now? Is just within the course of twenty-four hours, Cody and Kenny took a trip to randomly show up to our buddy James' date with some chick he's been talking to, without even letting me know or inviting me to tag along. Then after we all got that news, our buddy David breaks the news that he now has a girlfriend which leads to Kenny now asking him and his lady to double date with him and his own lady. The only friend I have to hang out with physically (because I do have THE BEST FRIENDS I COULD EVER ASK FOR via Skype and gaming on my PC) is Cody, but he'll only do something if Kenny does it, or if it involves more than at least two of us, not including himself. I'm a five-seven or five-nine hardened guy who people often look to for the rock or the advice. I'm the one who gets hit with life and laughs and gets back up with a simple brush off my shoulder. I'm supposed to be the strong one. Yet I'm sitting here just fighting back my urge to just bawl like a little child who lost his favorite toy or something. I mean, I just lost all the friends I have to hang out with, which may be an exaggeration, but basically I'll be seeing them MUCH MORE LESS than I already do, especially with Kenny. On top of that, I'm on a super fast crunch time to get a job, and I've had nothing but doors slammed in my face. It's been times where I've been faced like this or similar and I've had solutions. I've applied those same solutions and even figured out more, yet I'm still in the same square. How am I gonna get through this? I probably wont. I just may need a place to write and vent from time to time.