i miss having friends that are female...
i mean, i have Frankie, but she's not what i mean. Wait, yes she is. i mean, she's like, my only female friend in reality. In reality, everyone else is either a male, or i don't really like them, i just pretend to. i do that a lot for some reason. i think it's because i feel bad when i upset people.
Another reason that i might not be friends with any females is because all the females out here are shallow and fake and use my male friends. And then i get mad at my male friends for acting like tools. i don't really get mad at them, just annoyed. i pretend like i don't notice, at least until they tell me they're unhappy.
One told me that, and that he didn't know why, and i said "Well, i know why. It's because of other people."
He agreed. But, he's kind of like me. i mean, i'm not so dependent on others that i will do things for people who make me feel like shit, but more as in, i'm afraid to upset them because everything's rainbows for me. At least that's what i pretend.
But, i don't know. People do that a lot. They'll do things that they don't want to to please someone else, i think that's pretty much what i mean by that.
But i've kind of quit doing that. i just got tired of trying to make everyone happy, because it never works, and then i feel like shit.
i am out of fags. i've been smoking regular cheep ones lately. But, i want my cloves, so i think i'll go get some... even though they're expensive. But, i don't need food, i never really eat anyway. And if i do, it's because someone else buys it for me because they think i'm some starving Ethiopian child.
i'm too fat to be an Ethiopian, though.
i mean, i have Frankie, but she's not what i mean. Wait, yes she is. i mean, she's like, my only female friend in reality. In reality, everyone else is either a male, or i don't really like them, i just pretend to. i do that a lot for some reason. i think it's because i feel bad when i upset people.
Another reason that i might not be friends with any females is because all the females out here are shallow and fake and use my male friends. And then i get mad at my male friends for acting like tools. i don't really get mad at them, just annoyed. i pretend like i don't notice, at least until they tell me they're unhappy.
One told me that, and that he didn't know why, and i said "Well, i know why. It's because of other people."
He agreed. But, he's kind of like me. i mean, i'm not so dependent on others that i will do things for people who make me feel like shit, but more as in, i'm afraid to upset them because everything's rainbows for me. At least that's what i pretend.
But, i don't know. People do that a lot. They'll do things that they don't want to to please someone else, i think that's pretty much what i mean by that.
But i've kind of quit doing that. i just got tired of trying to make everyone happy, because it never works, and then i feel like shit.
i am out of fags. i've been smoking regular cheep ones lately. But, i want my cloves, so i think i'll go get some... even though they're expensive. But, i don't need food, i never really eat anyway. And if i do, it's because someone else buys it for me because they think i'm some starving Ethiopian child.
i'm too fat to be an Ethiopian, though.