I have a groupie. I have a fan. Oh, how have I lived so long in my life without someone worshipping me enough to make me the center of their conversation at a bar last night? I'll never know... but I have to publicly correct my fan, you know since only the truly great #1 fans just have to have their facts verified before they go home and masterbate to Marilyn Manson with the family dog.
For the record, I am not having sex with anyone currently. For one, I'm alone in my office and not real keen on the idea of getting fired. And two, I do have dignity and self-respect left. So no... you're very wrong. Duke and I may be having issues, and may have broken up, but that doesn't mean that I can't go for quite an impressive amount of time without diving into the arms of another man... I sleep alone... I haven't had sex since the last time with Duke, not quite a week ago... Just me. Sleeping alone... with two stuffed animals, a yellow duck and Stitch. Asides, with the fact that Duke and I are talking about things and giving the relationship salvage thing a good 'ol college try, I could very easily have sex with him. I think he might just allow that. But I'm not some matress-hopping vixen that spends her days in an office and lurks like a succubus by night. If you want that kind of action, watch the daytime soaps or hang out on Patton with the rest of the attention-starved dramaqueens.
Or go home and indulge your Oedipus complex by sniffing your mother's panties.
It's all about personal choice, you know, just get your shit straight before you utter my name in a sentence.
As a final note to my impudent little groupie, so you'll have a new rumor to spread, next week I plan on ass-raping the Lochness monster with an illegally-obtained pagan head from Easter Island, while we're both smeared and writhing in peanut butter and raw eggs in the office of the tattoo studio. Email me for a private showing of the video, yo.
Don't you wish you had a groupie too? I'll sell ya mine!
For the record, I am not having sex with anyone currently. For one, I'm alone in my office and not real keen on the idea of getting fired. And two, I do have dignity and self-respect left. So no... you're very wrong. Duke and I may be having issues, and may have broken up, but that doesn't mean that I can't go for quite an impressive amount of time without diving into the arms of another man... I sleep alone... I haven't had sex since the last time with Duke, not quite a week ago... Just me. Sleeping alone... with two stuffed animals, a yellow duck and Stitch. Asides, with the fact that Duke and I are talking about things and giving the relationship salvage thing a good 'ol college try, I could very easily have sex with him. I think he might just allow that. But I'm not some matress-hopping vixen that spends her days in an office and lurks like a succubus by night. If you want that kind of action, watch the daytime soaps or hang out on Patton with the rest of the attention-starved dramaqueens.
Or go home and indulge your Oedipus complex by sniffing your mother's panties.
It's all about personal choice, you know, just get your shit straight before you utter my name in a sentence.
As a final note to my impudent little groupie, so you'll have a new rumor to spread, next week I plan on ass-raping the Lochness monster with an illegally-obtained pagan head from Easter Island, while we're both smeared and writhing in peanut butter and raw eggs in the office of the tattoo studio. Email me for a private showing of the video, yo.
Don't you wish you had a groupie too? I'll sell ya mine!
kyshak:
I'll be your groupie huckleberry...