vicedriver

it's colder than ever outside
but i don't feel it anymore

insulated
but not isolated
motivated
but hesitating
groping
gaining
grabbing
holding
and almost
good again

rise above

found some more truth
finally
took long enough
hopefully that'll fill the tank for a while

i can stop waiting now
when you don't know
what you're waiting for
there's no point in waiting

on other fronts:
spicy food really is addictive
i can't get enough

work is still busy
i guess that's job security
(as long as you don't fuck up)

how can i...
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as will whitmore says
tea in the mornin'
and whiskey at night
is such a hard cycle to break

been working a lot
and going out a lot
the same for this weekend
'cept the sg's will be in town
that should be interesting
and in one of my fav bars too
so there's that

i could use a good roadtrip
still restless
need to...
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reality
is that you?

went to that festival/show
out on a farm
(jerry's farm)
officially billed
the 3rd annual celebration of community and music
it was like a mini-bonaroo
from what i understand that is
anyway
old farm
bands playing in front of
or in barns
8 ft high corm all around
people barefoot
dogs off leashes
you get the idea
very cool
and the...
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why does it seem
that every day i wake up
the middle east is getting
closer and closer
to total chaos?
makes me sad
makes me want to become a negotiator

ok
that was serious
no more of that

partied my ass off this weekend
as usual
saw a good blues show sat night
and next weekend
on saturday
there's an all day show/festival
outside...
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wow
they changed things around here
interesting

i'm still alive
and whatnot
there's just not always
a whole lot to say

we stoics don't say too much

say something if you want....

best vacation
ever

oh
what to say
i'm still around
just busy
in my own way

is it christmas already?
'cuz i'm about to get a present
can't wait

going on walkabout
end of this week
you know how i love to drive

let me know
how you're doing
if you stop by....

thought i'd update
since i haven't in a while

i'm off to texas again
second time in as many weeks
i'm almost sick of driving
almost
as long as there isn't torrential rain again
arg

i think i'm stuck again
but what to change
to get unstuck?
there's the rub
at least i can think while driving
which is nice
sometimes

hope all my sg...
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don't have much to say
at all here anymore
really

shout out if you want
i suppose

i was wondering
do tibetan monks
meditating in the himylayas (sp?)
get lonely?
how does one
transcend loneliness?
it's a problem

chicago
snow
motorcycles
meetings
feelings
asunder
in shreds

"i want to pull you down into bed"
very much so
"but you've got my heart in your hand"
but why?
i know you are unreachable
but the feelings remain

i want to be inpenetrible
invincible...
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a combination of
listening to nick cave
and reading pirsig and kant
puts one in a bizar mood

i feel restless
and not the usual restless
which scares me a bit
i feel life-restless
there are too many questions
the ones that never go away

but i'm not really depressed
that's different
that's apathy and crushing exhaustion
no
not that
just restless
like i want...
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