starbelliedboy

It's just about growing up time. Working at the liquor store is working out pretty well, and I'm making enough money that I'm not broke all the time. But I'll need more if I want to get the hell out on my own any time soon. I'm on auto-pilot til Graduation. I'll be trying like the dickens to get my own ride pretty soon, and then it's off to both move out and pay back my loans. I'm getting to a point where I'd be fine living at home if I was single, but my lifestyle with Tiff causes some conflict. I need to have a place of my own. Whether or not Tiff shares it with me will be worked out eventually, but if not, I'm sure she'll still be there, all the time. I can't stand not having a place for us to go. Not even just a place where we can fuck unheeded, we need a place where we can call home. I feel bad for her that she doesn't really have a satisfactory home base, because, as I've said, if it weren't for her, I'd LOVE my house. The only bad thing is my very Christian parents... Ugh. Not to sound like I resent her, though, she in no way spoils my enjoyment of my home situation, it's just that it's kinda sucky that she can't really enjoy it right along with me.

I'm terrified of looking for a real job, and the ineptitude I'd feel going into it.

I need new people to hang out with. Everybody's splitting up, and we're being left behind... Not that I don't love spending time with Tiff, but we need other people, too. I've never been good at making friends. I'll make one, and latch onto whoever he knows and hangs out with. It's pretty easy until you need to start from scratch. Everybody's got their own circle at this point, and it's hard to break into them. Besides, it's always weird to try and break in a new friend. You both have your own routines and schedules, and it's not easy to set something up so you can regularly hang out. Maybe I should call Cait and Melissa occasionally or something. Or Kevin... But then I have to worry about Tiff liking them, too. I want friends we can share. That don't go to the bar all the time.

I need some new cds. Haven't heard anything interesting since BSS. Hopefully, SOMEBODY will download and burn for me the new cds that I've been craving...