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So I have to write a "From Where Do I read the World" essay to explain a little about my worldview....and I thought I would share my rough draft:

Imperative to any understanding of how I read the world is maybe to start at the current version of me. I am a more or less straight, white, cis-gendered, atheist but raised in a Southern Baptist...
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soulclapping:
Hahah....a whole lot of this is just about feeling schlubby....so it works.
annalee:
That was so good to read, it made me feel really optimistic! Thanks for sharing it.
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I am that creepy asshole.

I was sitting here on the couch when I heard a bunch of commotion outside. My front door overlooks my apartent building's patio with installed grills and all that. So I peaked through the blinds and two women in their 20s were grilling....and I was like "oh ok." Then I realized....I've been sitting in my living room in a tee...
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womp womp womp

It's funny....my colleagues just took me to task for being with someone who didn't make me happy and who made my life harder than it needed to be.

"We don't want to have to worry about you for the nest year and a half......get your shit together"


Funny how loved that can make you feel.

So I am single. Boom.
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velvetfaerie:
No need to sugar coat things.

That's gold

ashlynn:
So, I was browsing the newest blogs posted by members and you're from Roanoke.

Interesting. I grew up there.
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So new city.....new job....new grad program....new bank....new apartment....new bike (well fixed)....new girl....new......life.

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lulabuxom:
It's been awhile since i've been in touch (i've been MIA on SG for a long time). I've just caught up on some of your blog, i'm glad you're ok after your accident.
All these new things can be at times daunting but they can also be super exciting, and worthwhile.
Are you happy with them? I hope so. I am for you, they sound like exciting opportunities for change.
Well done smile
soulclapping:
Hey thanks all! Yeah everything has been overwhelming, but I am falling into the run of things now....and ended up coming to a parting agreement with the girl situation.....a toxic space now gone.....so hopefully things continue looking up.

I am happy with them, thank you for that too.
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Holy shit....have you listened to much Link Wray??





He's like if Van Morrison had serious soul.

I am jamming my ass off here.
veganjihad:
if you like Link Wray, you need to check out Bunker Hill.
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........filling out job applications is frustrating, invigorating, terrifying, and nerve-wracking.

I might have found a good fit for an intensive training program that will pay me to get, another, degree.

Fun fact: I will be taking TWO standardized tests this week!
kiley:
not one, but two? i'm sure that will be loads of fun. good luck
brightredscream:
Sounds great :p
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So I am switching career fields from a graduate student who didn't quite finish his degree to.....?????

So where is the part where people teach you how to apply for jobs? I guess it was in there somewhere, but as this decision got closer and closer I slowly realized that I only knew how to apply (and not very well) to the job I was...
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aeterna:


so the fear goes beyond all this...it goes to this place that is more like....what do I want to do for the rest of my life....instead of the normal...how will I pay rent next month.



This. And it's incredible how HARD it is to find people who understand.

soulclapping:
Ah thank you....hopefully you don't find yourself in the same boat. You assuredly have your own boat no doubt though.

Things are looking up....I just haven't reposted about it for sake of jinxing it.
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Soooooooooooooooooooo I might be investigating a career change....or something like that.

I am really struggling with my final project for my doctorate....and it's slipping away from me. I am thinking one or two major setbacks and I will hang it up for good. I have some thoughts on what to do next....but honestly this is a fairly terrifying thought.

The one good side is that...
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velvetfaerie:
What is your doctorate in?
I have been reading your health and fitness stuff for a LONG time.... you are epic.... and inspirational...
Just wanted to tell you that.....
I have started on a serious journey to loose the 20kg I put on while taking antidepressants for 4 years.....
Calorie counting, walking, riding bike, jogging...... ditching the car for these incidental exercises as well...
Adventures in life are great...... maybe a short adventure? A holiday type one?
I like mountains. Saw some in Europe.... nothing like that where i live..... smile Pretty cool.....
I am rambling....
Good luck..... and kick some ass !!!!
rory_b_bellows:
Yeah that definitely played a part in it. I felt that if I told anyone ahead of time what my plans were, then I was doing it more out of their pressure and expectations than for my own reasons.
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So here's the thing.....I wrecked my bike this morning.....pretty badly. I am more or less ok....lots of road rash, lots of bruises....lots of soreness in weird places. My effed up shoulder is super swollen....so I am monitoring that for now. I was riding down ga ave and turned my front wheel to avoid something int he road and it ended up turning sharply.....I flipped over...
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corinthia:
Oh poor thing! Are you feeling better?

I'm pretty beat up too. I didn't get into an accident or anything, but I've been hard on my body at the gym, doing lots of rolling without a padded mat under me and jumps and leaps for dancing. My right shin is splint, and my hips, legs, and lower back are badly bruised.

We should hang out sometime!
vanceowen:
You are tough. Just remember to get back on the bike asap. That's the hardest part.
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So I keep a low profile on here for the most part, but I have had some wonderful interactions. So in that spirit I thought I would share a little about me.

I am working on my dissertation for my PhD in Literature. This has been true about me for about 2 years, but for the first time in all of that time I have...
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heatherann:
322 pages?! Wow. That's pretty impressive.

What happens after you're finally done?
soulclapping:
I also found that if I convert the whole thing to Comic Sans, it's 406 pages, which seems sadly appropriate.

Umm...next step is to defend it, take my degree, go on a week bender of mostly cookies, and then start looking for meaningful work. Or keep taking adjunct positions and trying to find less meaningful work in a coffeeshop or something.

I also want to try to break it up into sections and get them published separate along with some new material I will be working on. Ideally, 2013-14 will be a better school year for looking for work once I am done.
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There's really no nice way to say to someone that they're being hypocritical in being upset with you for doing the same thing they did to you a few days previously.
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soulclapping:
Thank you for validation.....i got some more from local friends tonight...but better is better.
_______________:
I hope better does feel better, I know sometimes it can not feel better at the time