Well, here we are! My first set is in MR and people are being nice/critical and it's weird!!! More weird than i anticipated actually!
I guess we all have our reasons for being on SG, my reason is that i've always looked in the mirror and been sad at what i saw, my friends are very different too me... alot of blonde slender girls, no tattoos,they have opinions but a different type of delivery from my own unique style i guess. I've spent alot of time looking at them with envy, dreading the day a new boyfriend meets them... not alot has changed. Luckily though i'm hilarious and i largely rely on that too bag the man!
Being a mother kind of changed my perception of myself, i saw the stretchmarks and decided that rather than hate them i'd class them as battles scars for fight worthing winning. I'm not a positive person by nature so this was incredibly hard for me.
When my friend suggested SG my immediate reaction was 'don't take the piss' but after a while i warmed too the idea... the focus for me trying to be a SG is not about the fact i think i'm hot or that i have what men/women desire it was about looking at myself and being ok with what i saw. I've had weight battles like most girls and times where i couldn't leave the house because i felt that i was too hideous for other people too see. The issue with self loathing is that you try so hard too hide it, you over compensate and people take an acid tongue or a quick wit too mean that you are strong and confident..... the downside is that you can't ask for help!
From time too time i still get like that, i have no full length mirrors in my house and spend alot of time not doing the job i love because i become consumed with feeling not worthy or vile and i dont feel like i can make it through the day in public, so as you can imagine doing this shoot was a real gamble.
I did a warm up shoot, and i found that the make up and outfit made me feel good, like i was another person or that i was me in a mask...
I was worried that i wouldn't handle the comments or feedback and that maybe i was way out of my depth... the comments i seem to take and feel i can learn from (who'd a thunk it) but the latter is still being considered.
It's a very bizarre feeling too know that people look at you and find you sexy/hot/attractive... and want too do rude things with your rude things... and i still find it hard too accept the comments and compliments... if i don't say much it's because i have no clue how or what to do or say... so please, if i don't reply or seem vague it's because i'm a little overwhelmed!!
I do really appreciate everyones advice and support i truly do, so, thank you & good night!!
I guess we all have our reasons for being on SG, my reason is that i've always looked in the mirror and been sad at what i saw, my friends are very different too me... alot of blonde slender girls, no tattoos,they have opinions but a different type of delivery from my own unique style i guess. I've spent alot of time looking at them with envy, dreading the day a new boyfriend meets them... not alot has changed. Luckily though i'm hilarious and i largely rely on that too bag the man!
Being a mother kind of changed my perception of myself, i saw the stretchmarks and decided that rather than hate them i'd class them as battles scars for fight worthing winning. I'm not a positive person by nature so this was incredibly hard for me.
When my friend suggested SG my immediate reaction was 'don't take the piss' but after a while i warmed too the idea... the focus for me trying to be a SG is not about the fact i think i'm hot or that i have what men/women desire it was about looking at myself and being ok with what i saw. I've had weight battles like most girls and times where i couldn't leave the house because i felt that i was too hideous for other people too see. The issue with self loathing is that you try so hard too hide it, you over compensate and people take an acid tongue or a quick wit too mean that you are strong and confident..... the downside is that you can't ask for help!
From time too time i still get like that, i have no full length mirrors in my house and spend alot of time not doing the job i love because i become consumed with feeling not worthy or vile and i dont feel like i can make it through the day in public, so as you can imagine doing this shoot was a real gamble.
I did a warm up shoot, and i found that the make up and outfit made me feel good, like i was another person or that i was me in a mask...
I was worried that i wouldn't handle the comments or feedback and that maybe i was way out of my depth... the comments i seem to take and feel i can learn from (who'd a thunk it) but the latter is still being considered.
It's a very bizarre feeling too know that people look at you and find you sexy/hot/attractive... and want too do rude things with your rude things... and i still find it hard too accept the comments and compliments... if i don't say much it's because i have no clue how or what to do or say... so please, if i don't reply or seem vague it's because i'm a little overwhelmed!!
I do really appreciate everyones advice and support i truly do, so, thank you & good night!!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
brummyboy:
hello, cool pics mate
rosieblue:
You make me smile. Thankyou