July 10, 2008 11:30p First blog: Current Life Events
Numerous inexplicable events have been happening so fast this year, I don't know where the time has gone. I've been through hell at back, hit rock bottom and picked myself back up, now all these opportunities just keep walking through my door like they were old friends!
So, opportunity numero uno, In January I applied for and was accepted my SuicideGirls.com all I was waiting on was to finish my sleeve, find a photographer, do a photoset, and submit it and I would be official and be getting paid regularly from them. Took forever to get the damn sleeve finished. (finishing this story further down)
February. Landed my butt in and out of the hospital for two and half weeks straight. I accrued thousands of dollars of debt through medical expenses that my insurance didn't cover. Thankfully, my mother offered (out of the kindness of her dear heart) to take care of all of my medical expenses because she knew how bad off I was to begin with. I had been working from home for 1800Flowers.com. Because of the time I missed from work while I was in the hospital, even though I called them like 400 times every day to tell attendence that I was still in the hospital, they fired me for my attendence percentage. I should have sued the company. Or filed unemployment again...
I broke down completely mentally. I holed up in my apartment and barely went outside for days if Dave was home to take the dog out. I'l leave the house maybe once a week at most and only be gone for an hour or two. My anxiety and sleep were both completely fucked. I tried to kill myself by overdosing on my many medications the doctor's stupidly supplied me with for my migrain prevention. It got so bad I actually offered to sign my $250,000 life insurance policy over to someone, marry him, and help make it look like a murder. Then reality came back, mind you I've been having long periods of disorientation from the migrains, I realized what I had almost done...
I had no other choice. All of my credit cards were maxed out, I hadn't had a job in a few weeks, I wasn't going to be able to make rent, Dave was ready to leave me because I was emotionally unstable and unpredictable. I went to my Mom. I think I scared the shit out of her when I told her how bad it was. She insisted I move back home, drop out of school for awhile, and just take some time off to re-center myself. So that's what I did.
March. I've moved back into mom's. I miss Dave terribly. I'm regretting moving back into my mother's more than anything in the world. I started drinking again, everyday, whiskey. Then my summer job came back and gave me something to occupy myself with. I worked my ass off all spring, 35-45 hours per week outside rain or shine, bustin ass and takin names.
My confidence started coming back. It was like being outside made the cloud of darkness that was hanging over me lift away (those were the exact words of one of my regular customers whose psychic gave me a reading at work). I was more positive, happy, social, and outgoing. That's when the lightbulb flicked on that my emotions are very strongly controlled by th weather. I started noticing the pattern more and more as I paid attention.
I decided the logical solution to the probelm would be moving to a location where it's sunny and warm all year long so I can avoid the seasonal depression. Where's my favorite place in the whole wide world? Sunny San Diego, CA of course! I strung the idea of moving out there on Mom. She told Regan and Lana who got uuber excited. Lana got me a job already. Regan offered to let me stay with them for the first few months while I get on my feet. So I already have a place to stay and a job. All I have to do is pack my shit and go. The spontaneous Kayla wants to say fuck you Ohio and GO. Get gone girl! But the paranoid, anxious, stress-ball Kayla is terrified of going alone.
The co-dependent Kayla has been running around like a ferret jacked up on mt. dew trying to convince someone, anyone, to go with me and make this spontaneous adventure of it. So far, no one's game
Picking back up with the SuicideGirls thread. Since we're caught up to the present in my little storybook update. I wanted to do my first shoot before I moved to Cali that was one of my goals. Main problem: finding a phtographer. Then good old Jimmy "The Rocketman" popped into my head since he shot my body suspension photos. Now, I've got a photographer. Exciting!
So, The Rocketman and I have been hangin out planning how we're gonna shoot these first few sets. Then opportunity numero dos comes knockin on my myspace inbox! HarmCityHarlots.com want's me to apply to model for their sit as well! I applied immediately, that night, so excited. I received an email the next morning from the co-founder saying I was exactly the type of girl they were looking for, complimented me enough for a year, and offered me oodles of perks and bonuses for being one of "the original models" when the site officially opens, which is a few months down the road. Later that night I received another email with all my official documents and release forms and such (this was last night - Wednesday night). I completed the forms and mailed them today.
Planning a shoot, possibly multiple photosets because I have so many ideas and I can't choose! Anyway, planning a shoot for this weekend and hopefully my mid-week next week I'll be getting paid, not to mention fanmail, by not one but two awesome modeling website operations. VERY EXCITING!!!
Opportunity numero tres, not as exciting as the others but I did start another P/T job working for Vector Marketing selling Cutco Cutlery, which pretty much sells itself, for $14.25/hour/appt and eventually I can earn up to 50% commission off of the products I sell. Good income deal for a very reasonable investment price. Anyone interested in the position, they are ALWAYS hiring. Give me a shout and I'll refer you to the branch manager.
Opportunity numero quatro, once I get my debts and bills all current I will be an active YTB Referring Travel Agent again. With my marketing experience from Vector I think I will be able to grow my YTB business right along side Cutco. It's all about networking and socializing. People love a pretty girl that will talk to anyone regardless. Not trying to be conceited. Just an honest observation.
No where to go but up. I leave for vacation to San Diego July 30th - Aug 8th. Hopefully start training for my new job and get some time off in the wonderful cali sunshine. Have to look for apts too because I really don't plan on imposing on Reagan and Lana's home.
When I come back. I'll start packing for the big move. Not sure yet when I'll actually leave. May wait til October and have a big going away party for my birthday (Oct 16th n don't forget it!), probably nice bonfire party, old-fashion hairy buff style. Traditional going-away. Has to be Hairy Buffalo...
Good night, good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Though I shall say goodnight,
til it be 'morrow.
(shakespeare)
Peace
Numerous inexplicable events have been happening so fast this year, I don't know where the time has gone. I've been through hell at back, hit rock bottom and picked myself back up, now all these opportunities just keep walking through my door like they were old friends!
So, opportunity numero uno, In January I applied for and was accepted my SuicideGirls.com all I was waiting on was to finish my sleeve, find a photographer, do a photoset, and submit it and I would be official and be getting paid regularly from them. Took forever to get the damn sleeve finished. (finishing this story further down)
February. Landed my butt in and out of the hospital for two and half weeks straight. I accrued thousands of dollars of debt through medical expenses that my insurance didn't cover. Thankfully, my mother offered (out of the kindness of her dear heart) to take care of all of my medical expenses because she knew how bad off I was to begin with. I had been working from home for 1800Flowers.com. Because of the time I missed from work while I was in the hospital, even though I called them like 400 times every day to tell attendence that I was still in the hospital, they fired me for my attendence percentage. I should have sued the company. Or filed unemployment again...
I broke down completely mentally. I holed up in my apartment and barely went outside for days if Dave was home to take the dog out. I'l leave the house maybe once a week at most and only be gone for an hour or two. My anxiety and sleep were both completely fucked. I tried to kill myself by overdosing on my many medications the doctor's stupidly supplied me with for my migrain prevention. It got so bad I actually offered to sign my $250,000 life insurance policy over to someone, marry him, and help make it look like a murder. Then reality came back, mind you I've been having long periods of disorientation from the migrains, I realized what I had almost done...
I had no other choice. All of my credit cards were maxed out, I hadn't had a job in a few weeks, I wasn't going to be able to make rent, Dave was ready to leave me because I was emotionally unstable and unpredictable. I went to my Mom. I think I scared the shit out of her when I told her how bad it was. She insisted I move back home, drop out of school for awhile, and just take some time off to re-center myself. So that's what I did.
March. I've moved back into mom's. I miss Dave terribly. I'm regretting moving back into my mother's more than anything in the world. I started drinking again, everyday, whiskey. Then my summer job came back and gave me something to occupy myself with. I worked my ass off all spring, 35-45 hours per week outside rain or shine, bustin ass and takin names.
My confidence started coming back. It was like being outside made the cloud of darkness that was hanging over me lift away (those were the exact words of one of my regular customers whose psychic gave me a reading at work). I was more positive, happy, social, and outgoing. That's when the lightbulb flicked on that my emotions are very strongly controlled by th weather. I started noticing the pattern more and more as I paid attention.
I decided the logical solution to the probelm would be moving to a location where it's sunny and warm all year long so I can avoid the seasonal depression. Where's my favorite place in the whole wide world? Sunny San Diego, CA of course! I strung the idea of moving out there on Mom. She told Regan and Lana who got uuber excited. Lana got me a job already. Regan offered to let me stay with them for the first few months while I get on my feet. So I already have a place to stay and a job. All I have to do is pack my shit and go. The spontaneous Kayla wants to say fuck you Ohio and GO. Get gone girl! But the paranoid, anxious, stress-ball Kayla is terrified of going alone.
The co-dependent Kayla has been running around like a ferret jacked up on mt. dew trying to convince someone, anyone, to go with me and make this spontaneous adventure of it. So far, no one's game
Picking back up with the SuicideGirls thread. Since we're caught up to the present in my little storybook update. I wanted to do my first shoot before I moved to Cali that was one of my goals. Main problem: finding a phtographer. Then good old Jimmy "The Rocketman" popped into my head since he shot my body suspension photos. Now, I've got a photographer. Exciting!
So, The Rocketman and I have been hangin out planning how we're gonna shoot these first few sets. Then opportunity numero dos comes knockin on my myspace inbox! HarmCityHarlots.com want's me to apply to model for their sit as well! I applied immediately, that night, so excited. I received an email the next morning from the co-founder saying I was exactly the type of girl they were looking for, complimented me enough for a year, and offered me oodles of perks and bonuses for being one of "the original models" when the site officially opens, which is a few months down the road. Later that night I received another email with all my official documents and release forms and such (this was last night - Wednesday night). I completed the forms and mailed them today.
Planning a shoot, possibly multiple photosets because I have so many ideas and I can't choose! Anyway, planning a shoot for this weekend and hopefully my mid-week next week I'll be getting paid, not to mention fanmail, by not one but two awesome modeling website operations. VERY EXCITING!!!
Opportunity numero tres, not as exciting as the others but I did start another P/T job working for Vector Marketing selling Cutco Cutlery, which pretty much sells itself, for $14.25/hour/appt and eventually I can earn up to 50% commission off of the products I sell. Good income deal for a very reasonable investment price. Anyone interested in the position, they are ALWAYS hiring. Give me a shout and I'll refer you to the branch manager.
Opportunity numero quatro, once I get my debts and bills all current I will be an active YTB Referring Travel Agent again. With my marketing experience from Vector I think I will be able to grow my YTB business right along side Cutco. It's all about networking and socializing. People love a pretty girl that will talk to anyone regardless. Not trying to be conceited. Just an honest observation.
No where to go but up. I leave for vacation to San Diego July 30th - Aug 8th. Hopefully start training for my new job and get some time off in the wonderful cali sunshine. Have to look for apts too because I really don't plan on imposing on Reagan and Lana's home.
When I come back. I'll start packing for the big move. Not sure yet when I'll actually leave. May wait til October and have a big going away party for my birthday (Oct 16th n don't forget it!), probably nice bonfire party, old-fashion hairy buff style. Traditional going-away. Has to be Hairy Buffalo...
Good night, good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Though I shall say goodnight,
til it be 'morrow.
(shakespeare)
Peace
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jonspit:
just dropping a note to say hello hope all goes well
revolutionary:
I wish you the best of luck. Leaving the midwest has had it's ups and downs but it was a good move for me right now I hope things go good for you