0
i want to cry right now because i am so stupid
and i miss having someone that loves me
also, i am sick of trying to make things not fucked up
because that is all they will ever be.
thorr74:
wow, now i am sad
ratbugdave:
love is overratted and things will always be fucked up.
and now, a poem for you:


The Blackbirds are Rough Today

lonely as a dry and used orchard
spread over the earth
for use and surrender.

shot down like an ex-pug selling
dailies on the corner.

taken by tears like
an aging chorus girl
who has gotten her last check.

a hanky is in order your lord your
worship.

the blackbirds are rough today
like
ingrown toenails
in an overnight
jail---
wine wine whine,
the blackbirds run around and
fly around
harping about
Spanish melodies and bones.

and everywhere is
nowhere---
the dream is as bad as
flapjacks and flat tires:

why do we go on
with our minds and
pockets full of
dust
like a bad boy just out of
school---
you tell
me,
you who were a hero in some
revolution
you who teach children
you who drink with calmness
you who own large homes
and walk in gardens
you who have killed a man and own a
beautiful wife
you tell me
why I am on fire like old dry
garbage.

we might surely have some interesting
correspondence.
it will keep the mailman busy.
and the butterflies and ants and bridges and
cemeteries
the rocket-makers and dogs and garage mechanics
will still go on a
while
until we run out of stamps
and/or
ideas.

don't be ashamed of
anything; I guess God meant it all
like
locks on
doors.
0
roommates, other people's roommates that is, because mine aren't so bad, are fucking cocksmokers.
i lust after a different haircut, but i love the one i have. . .
i want it so short that its just fuzzy in some places.
this picture is so ridiculous. . . but i have no skills with computers and this is the only one around.
this day is...
Read More
0
i want to fuck so bad i'm going a bit insane
it's weird when you hang out with someone so much, but you still feel like you are alone. . .
the most exciting thing that will happen today. . . i get to brush my teeth.
oh yes, then lunch with a very old friend that just might be able to do me a...
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deceptiviewfilm:
i watched the 40yr old virgin last night. as seeing that film...i know i need to ante-up my sex life.
0
i think i need to be alone more, but when i am i go crazy and think to much about things that will not change.
school has started but i don't really know it
0
i am empty, in a good way.
i am also very pathetic and needy
because i am a stupid bitch
0
i want to vomit.
school starts tomorrow and i'm going to a different city on the twelve
i'm afraid i won't be able to get out of this coma in time to go to school
or work or anything that i thought my life was composed of.
i want to smash my head apart or sleep forever
mezra:
Smashing your head apart sounds painful soooo just take a nap k.
m
0

humanity is a hammer to the brain
does your head hurt ?
because mine does.


i have fucked
about twelve
most never thought of
passing glances
shadowy figures
some names unknown
thank you
because if i knew you
i most likely would
have hated you
i know i am not horribly fond
of the ones
when i stayed around.
0
christ, some people's roommates are neurotic bitches
there is snow on the ground and i don't think i could leave this room
and try to skirt past their passive aggressive stares
i did not fuck ben, only because it seemed like more bullshit to me
though i get the distinct feeling or actually i just know
that i could
the sickness that is monogomy has...
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0
last nite
i watched a friend of sorts
break down and sob
it was sad
but it was good to know that boys cry to. . .especially boys like him

i want to fuck my roommate
unless adam gets him first
he is mine. . .
how eighth grade was that?
0
we think we are animals
but we are not
we just want to fuck sometimes
and when we do
it ends up meaning something
though not very often
it the sense
you would assume to mean
that you were in love
lust comes with emotions to. . .
jealously, anger, affection
meaningless sex
is a fucking lie
it just means
different things
to different people....
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doomferret:
hey thanks for your comlpiment son my work!!! smile biggrin biggrin biggrin
0
i am excited, very excited, so excited, that i am not exactly sure what it is for.
perhaps for the new house, a new fling, the dance. . . a new fling at the dance. . . or perhaps just for life in general. . . not all is going well, but that is o.k. to.
its one of those odd times where i really...
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0
bukowski is without a doubt one of the most brutal writers, i love it.
i spent to much money on books again
breaking up with evelyn was much easier than expected.
i'm going to be living with people i actually like for once
school. . . eh.
work. . . eh.
evelyn is having none of the cute hippie boy i drunkly attempted to hook...
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thistle:
i mostly write about teenagers. i guess my style could be compare to chuck's. that journal entry is the more freeform end of my range, but usually i write in a more traditional voice.

i'm not scary in real life.