Yeah, so I am having a very difficult time coping with my breakup with my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I can feel myself falling in love with a friend who I've known a lot longer than my ex, but I can also feel myself holding myself back. How can I just give myself to someone else when I've spent the last few years of my life in love with someone else? It's so confusing....I want to be with Stephen, but if Anthony called me right now and proposed, I would say yes. That is very sad after how much he's fucked up my head and my heart. He fucking ruined me for anyone else. He ruined me for myself. I used to be confidant, happy, healthy, and sure. Now I have no self esteem, no confidence, I can't make any decisions, I can't trust even people I have known for years....I'm depressed, I overeat, I smoke, I drink too much and I lay around all the time. I lost my job, I don't go to the doctor anymore, my bills are piling up, and I look like shit. Everything reminds me of him, so I talk about him all the time, and I can't believe Stephen even still wants me when every other word out of my mouth is his name. Me and Stephen have wanted to be together for years, but unfortunately I am all torn up now, and he has a son on the way. It's like life, the real world, just crept up on us and smacked the shit out of us to wake us up. It was so easy to want to be with him when I was 16, and now that we're both single, it's so hard. He lives two hours away, and there's the whole thing with the baby....if I decide to be with him, it's almost like saying I have to be with her too. His ex is always going to be in his life, and that bothers me. Everything is so complicated. I can't even think about it anymore....I'll finish later. 
but if he does make you happy that's all that matters, even if the rest of the situation is shitty.