Experiencing excessive frustration today; need a really long walk; finished pynchon's V., no longer have an obsessive distraction; reading the paper and smoking cigarettes is no substitute; coffee doesn't seem to help either; finally did taxes today in preparation for FAFSA, accompanied by fear and self-doubt; last week's adrenaline-rush of school has evaporated, leaving in its wake a sickly-weak feeling, and an inability to concentrate;...
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is the internet slowly becoming an innernet, where its ok to be patently and demonstrably crazy, to cease self-censorship and give free reign to the voices.
you've heard those of which i speak. i hear yours, quiet from the topmost corners of the room, as i lie (lay??), waiting, at the edge of sleep.
as we go mad, perhaps the world will unhinge enough to...
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you've heard those of which i speak. i hear yours, quiet from the topmost corners of the room, as i lie (lay??), waiting, at the edge of sleep.
as we go mad, perhaps the world will unhinge enough to...
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new pics posted - I25/Rio Grande
lambda:
.
the life of the party
-------------------
i'm an asshole maybe half of the time
Not a sadist-asshole
No killing of roaches
Or spiders, please
--
It's dreams
that i have
no problem
walking over
At least when there's
somewhere to get
to that
would rather
we showed up
awake and gleaming
than asleep like stones
still, i'm
late more than half
the time; i quite...
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-------------------
i'm an asshole maybe half of the time
Not a sadist-asshole
No killing of roaches
Or spiders, please
--
It's dreams
that i have
no problem
walking over
At least when there's
somewhere to get
to that
would rather
we showed up
awake and gleaming
than asleep like stones
still, i'm
late more than half
the time; i quite...
Read More
sorry it's been such a long time. the weather's nicer, school's picked up, and i seem to spend less late nights cruising pixel-land these days.
Brewing continues. Planted a native hops plant in the back yard under our apricot tree this morning. The spring colors have been beautiful, rosemary flowers glowing a subtle ultraviolet blue in the early morning light.
Brewing continues. Planted a native hops plant in the back yard under our apricot tree this morning. The spring colors have been beautiful, rosemary flowers glowing a subtle ultraviolet blue in the early morning light.
pastura:
wow, now that's homemade booze. never knew anyone to go as far as planting a... plant. good for you. glad to hear from you, but also glad you're enjoying real life. that is, after all, what we were always talking about. pretty esoteric when you think about it.... ah, life.
Is it a bad sign that SG feels like playing D&D sometimes? Life in little boxes is such a safe sort of exciting. This winter I languish in my own self-constructed security, wool socks, hot tea and soup.
I'll miss it when it's gone. India says, "I can't be a SG forever"... The daffodils are poking their heads out of the soil. Ready, set.
I'll miss it when it's gone. India says, "I can't be a SG forever"... The daffodils are poking their heads out of the soil. Ready, set.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ambellina:
I spend way too much time on this site. 
pastura:
fortunately our daffs have held back the blooms (even on a 55 degree day like today). they're pretty tall for now, but we're expecting a rain/snow mix tonight and it'll probably zap them.
where you been?
where you been?
Went to taos this weekend; walked in the crystal darkness of late winter down a great gorge to the banks of the rio grande wherein lies old hotsprings. Oh my, it was something special.
Going to a place like this with the locals makes it that much better, too. There was a certain sort of nonchalance that helped me really relax and soak up the...
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Going to a place like this with the locals makes it that much better, too. There was a certain sort of nonchalance that helped me really relax and soak up the...
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pastura:
vegan bakeries? do tell.
Deep in hermit mode. Wish it were deeper, I still have to go to class, get my car fixed, make arrangements for this that and the other.
I'm glad it's almost march, not long until the spring equinox, pisces is here.
I'm giving up for lent.
Lots of domstic time lately, esp. in the kitchen. Got a good sourdough starter going - just took two...
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I'm glad it's almost march, not long until the spring equinox, pisces is here.
I'm giving up for lent.
Lots of domstic time lately, esp. in the kitchen. Got a good sourdough starter going - just took two...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
rigormortis:
If you expect much from people, they'll only let you down. I don't blame them, really. I just tell myself that I'm a bit more evolved than the average human, which is why they continually fail to meet my standards. Their simple minds just can't possibly understand the way I function. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for not having friends.
Maybe if we wore Ugg boots people would like us more, eh?
Maybe if we wore Ugg boots people would like us more, eh?
zef:
hope you make the best of your hermitage. I love the sun in the kitchen, not my kitchen, but someone's awesome kitchen. I could live in the kitchen...maybe I should get hired on as an alice, take care of some wealthy family's brats.
mmm bread sounds good.
Wish you the best...
mmm bread sounds good.
Wish you the best...
I think i need some time alone. Busy weekend. Now, finally, I'm at home peaceful and quiet, listening to the (used) CDs I bought at the store today. Oh man, I love new music.
Superbowl sunday. Watched the tube 3 or 4 minutes, just long enought to see the clock and the score. Got half-raging drunk with a bunch of seriously fly people in a...
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Superbowl sunday. Watched the tube 3 or 4 minutes, just long enought to see the clock and the score. Got half-raging drunk with a bunch of seriously fly people in a...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
zef:
that's cool, I am into give and take, but what the heck does that have to do with bacon? LOL.
rigormortis:
"He also has perfect teeth and I bet his cock is /// source of chaos let me be the butterfly"
I, um, like the way you think. Now you only need to convince M. Shadows and you'll be golden in my book, baby. More than golden. You'd win some kind of award.
I hope you're enjoying your isolation. Alone time is good in small doses. When it becomes your life, that's when you should worry.
I, um, like the way you think. Now you only need to convince M. Shadows and you'll be golden in my book, baby. More than golden. You'd win some kind of award.
I hope you're enjoying your isolation. Alone time is good in small doses. When it becomes your life, that's when you should worry.
Today I went biking down by the river, in the Bosque. I was playing in the riversand with cayotes yipping to the south and migrating geese honking to the north at sunset, surrounded by a city yet all by my lonesome.
Morgan pointed it out recently - a bit of sunshine and fresh air really takes the edge of, well, everything else.
Tonight I was...
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Morgan pointed it out recently - a bit of sunshine and fresh air really takes the edge of, well, everything else.
Tonight I was...
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State of the Union? I listened to 15 minutes. That was enough to spike my blood pressure uncomfortably. Impeachment is too good - try them all for treason, Boss Hog, Mr. Vice, and their Flying Monkey Cabinet.
Gore's MLK Day Speech, on the other hand, was seemingly unheeded, written by the man himself, and almost entirely straight talk (as opposed to doubletalk).
Speech text...
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Gore's MLK Day Speech, on the other hand, was seemingly unheeded, written by the man himself, and almost entirely straight talk (as opposed to doubletalk).
Speech text...
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rigormortis:
Thanks, pal. I didn't get to hear the State of the Union. I'm sure I could catch some on TV right now, but I don't feel like enduring a headache for the better part of my day.
The end days are not yet here, my friend. They will come to pass once we've died and our corpses are rotting. Unless weapons of mass destruction kill us all, which would be unfortunate. Ah, the human ego... Things will be fine if we just start addressing issues of importance, like world peace. We just need more love, baby. Who knows, maybe I'll see the day marijuana is legalized.
Your halloween photos are hilarious, by the way. Now I must treat myself to a bubble bath. 
[Edited on Feb 02, 2006 10:57AM]
The end days are not yet here, my friend. They will come to pass once we've died and our corpses are rotting. Unless weapons of mass destruction kill us all, which would be unfortunate. Ah, the human ego... Things will be fine if we just start addressing issues of importance, like world peace. We just need more love, baby. Who knows, maybe I'll see the day marijuana is legalized.
Your halloween photos are hilarious, by the way.
Now I must treat myself to a bubble bath. [Edited on Feb 02, 2006 10:57AM]
zef:
I watched the whole charade. Someone on PBS said it best, (something like) "it's a tradition/like a pageant or ceremony. It has all the parts that must be played." It'sall rhetoric. There's no actual plan. Just the lipservice of plans and smoke screens.
end of days near? who knows. I've still got this moment to be in, can't imagine this moment ever not being.
However, if you are considering the political implications of bush-fucks, dowhatteverthefuckhewantstodo agenda folding the govenment, it's possible. It could break down to the point where states and maybe even local governments take charge until a new governemt can be put in place. Can we ever trust that? who knows. Would it collapse completely, possibly. I am going to stop here, speculation reigns eternal. Who knows the fate of all tomorrows parties....
Silver would seem like a good idea, but our silver wholesale compay just went out of business and due to a mess too complicated and tedious to bother wasting your time with, we have an abundance of silver jewelry in the actual jewelry store, but only like one of each item. It's too troublesome to put things up for sale that have to be ordered then hopefully delivered for valentines day. I hated it that during christmas!
end of days near? who knows. I've still got this moment to be in, can't imagine this moment ever not being.
However, if you are considering the political implications of bush-fucks, dowhatteverthefuckhewantstodo agenda folding the govenment, it's possible. It could break down to the point where states and maybe even local governments take charge until a new governemt can be put in place. Can we ever trust that? who knows. Would it collapse completely, possibly. I am going to stop here, speculation reigns eternal. Who knows the fate of all tomorrows parties....
Silver would seem like a good idea, but our silver wholesale compay just went out of business and due to a mess too complicated and tedious to bother wasting your time with, we have an abundance of silver jewelry in the actual jewelry store, but only like one of each item. It's too troublesome to put things up for sale that have to be ordered then hopefully delivered for valentines day. I hated it that during christmas!
i'm sorry i hadn't written back yet, but i planned to... maybe i'll do that now instead of finishing up here....