kokei

so i had to come into work early and work on the servers again, 8 days with out a day off so far. all for different reasons blah. so i sync my ipod touch so i can listen to music. and im in the car go to turn on the tunes and it dleted my music and videos WTF... grr.

as for yesterday after work...
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Tired of SG's Bullshit

so i searched for a group based on a game i've been beta testing and will be coming out soon. it's similar to world of warcraft but a refreshing change. there were no groups. i checked so i requested to add a group. and i got declined.

here is the form mail BS i got

****************************

Your application for the group...
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Fatally yours

She looks at me, eyes so cold
i reach out to quiet them
she looks at me, small and bold
anger grabs my chest

this devil, she knows my name
she whispers it on soft lips
i feel her breath choking me
as i struggle agasint her throat

my nightmare has her name
she carves it in my flesh
blood dripping mine or...
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What is your safety word?
does it make you feel safe
do you speak it in your sleep
and when you are alone in the dark
do you say it under your breath
does it keep you safe
does it deliver you from death

whats your safety word
so you say it like my name
whispering the name of god
a wish for an escape...
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Ghosts in the Machine
written: Aug. 7th, 2007

Echoes, The fog was lifted
Electronic residue, Sentient traces
Lost something, World replaced
Ghost stuck in circuitry bound
World in cyber lessons pound
We speak in noise unheard
The tapping of digits counting
Paper trail dead ended
Tension of unseen lies mounting
no longer sleeping
baby curled into mothers breast
abandoned by our own ignorance
god old,...
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Your Love


I don't want to be here
within this skin
darkned with false emotions,
tainted with sin
there are no shepards to watch the flock
no savior from the sky
childhood stories, simple little lies

i do not want to be here,
struggling within this pain
accusations and punshiments
hidden in false blame

i do not want to be here.
walking hand and hand...
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eyes searching,
but never found
hollow boy
lost in a crowd

hands out stretched
nothing to hold
slipping
fading away

falling, or floating
it all feels the same
no reason or cause,
noone to blame

transparent,
see through
shallow and dim
just the ghost of the boy
noone to remember him

whispers like winds
a breeze on your ear
yealling and screaming
still nothing to...
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an older one written [Mar. 24th, 2008|12:43 pm]


I may be nothing


You said you were my friend

but ran every time , it got tough

you said forever

but it never seemed to be enough

you promised me the world,

but all i got were lies

you opened up your mouth

and i opened up my eyes

i may be nothing

but thats more...
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One Last Caress

Dont' let us speak of truth or Lies
just kiss my lips and tell me you love me
darkness closes in on heavy eyes
just lay down beside me
hold my hand, and touch my face
as my breathe comes in heavy sighs
kiss my lips and say good bye
let us not speak of truth or lies.

I've shown her my scars
and she knows all my weaknesses
she has seen me through the bars
that hold me prisoner
i looked into myself
and in her i found a salvation
i find her tugging at my core
my last and only temptation