Hello!
I kind of can't believe that this is my first blog post on SG as a model and hopeful! I'm sure there are a TON of posts like this and I just got here, so I don't really expect many people to read it, but I'm going to have an excited little ramble anyway :) I first found out about Suicide Girls about 12 years ago when I saw one of the books a friend had. I was 18 and at this point in my life, I had mostly received negative judgment or behavior because of the way I dressed or the color of my hair. So, it was pretty incredible to behold a community that finds the beauty in alternative body expression. However, I didn't exactly make joining a goal - as great as it seemed, I didn't think I was or would ever be SG material!
Life pretty just went on after that. I worked normal jobs, I went to school, had fun, moved to England, got married, and have been back in the US with my husband for nearly 3 years now. I really, REALLY love England, but I feel like it is a lot easier to make a living here. It was a bit of a struggle, especially before we left, but I wouldn't trade my time in the UK. I'm used to having access to lots of space, if I want it and being able to get food or go shopping at all hours of the night - things that are not really an option in England! I had to come back so I could stuff my face and have a yard, but also, I think I might be a little too 'hot blooded American' for the culture at times, haha :) I think of both as my home and try to travel between when I can.
So, my husband is actually the one that convinced me to start sharing pictures of my body publicly. To make a long story short, I really needed an extra sexual outlet, but I definitely prefer being able to connect and share with people on an artistic, public basis. Making SG style albums really opened up a whole floodgate of creativity for me, in addition to providing a comfortable outlet for exploring and sharing my sexuality. Furthermore, I've never really felt comfortable and confident about my body, though I really wanted to. My husband/Master's argument was that once I started sharing pictures, I would have no basis for denying that I am beautiful anymore :) I've always been quite petite, slim, and I've probably taken body shaming way too close to heart - easily done! I've realized that most of that negativity had come from other girls - telling me I look anorexic, that I have no breasts, no butt, and no curves - which is a big reason why I think the SG community is also so great. There is so much positive attitude and empowerment between women in particular here!
However, I really didn't expect just how much sharing the real me would open up. There is so much more to it than just getting/being naked or learning to feel better about myself. I would definitely consider myself an artistic person - I love to paint, draw, craft, create, sing, dance, write, and pretty much anything along those lines that I can dabble in. When I am making an album, I really like getting invested in the details of my look and the story I want to tell with the pictures. It's a really great feeling to be able to connect with people that appreciate my art!
Sorry this ended up being kind of long, but thank you to anyone that bothers to read it! I promise that not all of my blog posts will be a wall of text. I am so looking forward to being a part of the SG community :) Just being here is just so great. I hope that eventually I can become a full-fledged Suicide Girl! <3