huronian

FUCK ME UP. Please someone, destroy my world, blow it to smithereens. I'll live in the ashes. And want to do it again. I already live in the ashes. And these ashes I hate. So give me new ones?

Read a 10 fallacies about introverts post here on SG and I must say I can relate to alot of stuff. I have a sensitive brain...
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So I was juggling clubs in the living room. My parents asked if I had taken my medication. I said I was going to. They asked if I was manic. I said no. Wonder if I should tell them I didn't take my meds yesterday and didn't go to sleep and was kind of thinking about doing the same today. I mean, what exacty, happens...
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So I went to watch my mother's choir this monday and a girl in it got my oxytocin-carousell spinning. All she did was look at me alot. Plus look funny and cute during a certain song. I was wishing to see her afterward but I don't think I did (if I did I ditched her cause I thought she was someone else so then that's...
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So now I'm just miserable without any reason to justify it. I just hate myself for being so riled up, going where people don't want to in conversations and being so damned easy to affect. I even think I like being miserable. Better feeling down than not feeling at all. At least my life is rolling again.

Attended PUA seminar and it was amazing! Definately need to get back into that world.

More? Simple Man - Deftones: best song ever. http://open.spotify.com/track/4eAh9bzurTIp34TREqa8cg

Theater lessons - almost managed to faint. Biggest difficulties to portray/feel sadness/happiness. Wtf?

Spending, spending, spending.

Diary - alot of text about nothing.

Okay, so as of yesterday I stopped steamrolling 15 people at a time on swedish word feud. Popping suggestions of words generated by my brain after a session not that usual although I like to think so. Not being able to kill the thought that the words spawned would be my opponents ideas and not mine is a...
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Things are going well. Not much to write. Think I could use a dairy. Welcome to read it between editions or before eventual removal.

My right hand is semi paralyzed from the head of a screw (english..) punshing through my palm. Had a surgery the 21st. Hopefully it will get well now.

Work at warehouse. Felt awkward with the collegues due to anxiety and tourette's...
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Okay, so Peace & Love festival was great. Got in touch with a pal through a pal, got another pal to join the day after and had the most chill work in a tent where you did just about nothing. Got a headache and a burning hot fever after a few days though. Still, I kept going on meds and even made out with this...
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Okay so I'm going to work at a festival from tomorrow and through the next week. I'm really excited but getting kind of anxious too. Considering my snap the day before yesterday I'm feeling a bit uneasy. This should most likely work out fine though. Booze, music, people, tents and mud - what's not to like?

So it's "midsummer" holiday in Sweden and I'm going to a festival to work in three days. Right now though, I should actually be at a party. However, and I really don't know why, but I just can't make myself go. So my solution? I'm ashamed to say, cigarettes and alcohol. I'll be looking into groups about bipolar and so on. I found one and...
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