Thanksgiving Week

7

Went to the SG Blackheart burlesque show Tuesday. It was awesome. I was supposed to take a friend who does a little bit of everything but is known for her porn. She had to bail because her manger fucked something up. She was bummed. I found a replacement last minute. This girl likes me so its a little awkward but shes older than me so...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
taiava:
Yeah that is right where I was. Right next to the guy that kept getting body shoots and booze poured on him all night. Was able to get decent pictures of Bambu thanks to that fella lol
hem90:
@taiava I was standing right behind him, if you couldn't tell. I recognized your picture. Small world. =p My friend stayed and talked to Bambu. She is obsessed now and still goes on about it. 

Weeknd

0

I went to a wedding as "arm candy," as she put it, to make her ex jealous. This girl is a friend of mine who I occasionally sleep with. The plan was to go to the wedding, be the prettiest people there, her get super drunk, and we'd bone afterwards. She ended up being all emotional and weird instead and we left early. After awhile...
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hem90:
@superbabzy Nah, I just travel a lot. Lots of friends everywhere but here. Plus I've been indulging on lotus flowers. Normally I read or just watch movies. 
superbabzy:
I like to travel too. I'm pretty much the same. Usually to tired or stressed after work for much else :/

/Life

1

The girl who I had an interest in who ditched me on my birthday has been super nice. However, I don't trust nice anymore. Her ex, who she ditched me for, has a girl now. I think she has been paying more attention to me because of that situation. Its too volatile. Obviously people with histories dont work out well with me.

There was another...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hem90:
@superbabzy IDK. I feel like I get what I deserve. I am excellent at being alone. I live by myself, I am not especially close to anyone, my family relies on me more than the other way around (financially and to solve their conflicts). I work. I go to school. I travel. However, it seems because I am so shut out I cling to those who show my any sort of affection even more. Most other people don't have the patience to keep up. Instead of having many friends I have a couple and hold onto them, even after things go to rot. =\
superbabzy:
Ok, I can sympathise there. I'm not close to many people. My biggest fear is rejection. Over the years I have had bad relationships with people that are not what I need. Toxic relationships you could say. I think it's because I know it will end. I won't be rejected and get hurt. Except I do and have.  I'm slowly learning that I do actually deserve to be loved for who I am. I'm making better choices (I hope!) I have a busy life too with work. I rarely meet people but that's ok. If the right person comes along that's great. It's a struggle, yes. This isn't the life I expected or planned when I was 18 but you know what? I'm here now; I have to go with it. I refuse to dwell on my expectations. What I'm saying is you do deserve good things and don't sell yourself short. It's human to want affection and connection but don't let others use this to manipulate you. 

Union

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I'm sitting in the student union and there are some kids in here that are just weird. My college is small and the union isnt as populated as it was when I started college. They're the kind of kids who are weird just to be weird. They'll talk about anime as if it makes them different and that is why people pick on them. I...
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Homework

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I left work early to work on this paper and I procrastinated. Now that I started it I can't stop. I wrote about my first subtopic for twice as long as was required. No big deal to pull an all-nighter. Wrong, I have to drive 3hrs to be in Indy tomorrow for State Police testing. Ok, no big deal, go do that in the morning...
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Silver Medal

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I wish my ex would understand how damaging on me it is to always feel inadequate and second best. Good enough to lean on all the time, but never good enough to actually get back together. This boy friend sucks, that boyfriend sucks, and you're too nice to me. She asked me if she was the reason I didn't really date anyone seriously anymore after...
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Overwhelming

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So my ex and I fooled around some more. I hung out with her son and her for lunch yesterday. I missed him. She still has a boyfriend. We have had some serious conversations but she isn't leaving him. She is all I want. I blocked her number for the second time this week. I came into work with nothing on the schedule. Turns out...
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What is love?

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Recently I lost my best friend because she loved me and couldn't deal with it. She has been vicious about pushing me away. There is an ex I am still in love with and after recent events she also admitted she loved me, but she has a boyfriend. This is so emotionally draining.