Right now, I'm having the hardest time thinking of how I'm going to make this 3x3 happen. I'm really starting to think that I am useless. I have pretty much tried to contact every one of my sources, and 99% of them have not only shot me down, but have also pretty much ignored me. I cannot fathom this, it is really ridiculous, and annoying, and is driving me insane. How is it that so many people can just straight-up ignore me like this? I haven't accomplished anything in my career thus far, and it's not totally my fault. It's like everyone I have come to know in this life is a sad sack of shit. No one is willing to take chances to better there lives, no one is willing to try anything new, and no one is willing to help anyone else. How can any of this make sense? It's thoroughly maddening! Am I just bred from a different school of thought? Am I better/worse than them? It kinda makes me worry about myself. But I can't help but remember the lesson that I have learned. I have to become great! No one in my family that I know of has really done anything to become great. There are people that have done great things, but it seems that I have to be the one who changes my family history. I want this so very badly, and I know that I can't let anything hold me back, I can't let anything derail me anymore. So what am I not doing right? What is it that I need to do? I know one thing, I really need a win, I need this district leader promotion so badly that I don't think I can afford to not get it, not just monetarily, but I need it for my health, mental and otherwise, I can't fail again! I think I would just die inside if I did. My world is in my hands, I can't drop it now.
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