I hate it when people tell me they can't help me even if I never fucking asked for their help in the first place. "Well I can't help you out with that Rachel.." DID I FUCKING ASK FOR YOUR HELP? Do I just look that slaughtered? I dunno. I have to get out of this house. Everyone feels this "understanding" with me but they don't even come close. "Oh that's just how Rachel is.. it's her meds, she's not feeling well." Yeah guess what? I've always been like this. None of my family knows me and I hate it when they act like they do. Of course this all just boils down to my father.. He's very prying and looks into all of my business. I just moved in with my dad for the first time since I was around 5 years old.. I don't think he'll ever know me and it's frustrating when he tries to dictate how to live my life. I suppose that's just human nature, but how can someone just show up in my life and peg me right out of the blue? The answer is: it's not possible. I love my dad but I really don't feel a connection with him anymore. The only time we've ever really connected was when we're talking about my fucking brother. I used to think my brother was just unfortunate and stuck in a bad place so I'd help him out a lot. HOWEVER, (most) times I just want to bitch slap that kid in the face. BOO FUCKING HOO.. daddy pays for everything for me yet I still fucking whine about every damn thing in the universe including buying my own gasssss (very rarely) waaaaaaaa. daddy pays for my school and my weed and food and housing but I'm still gonna bitch and moan about the fact that I have to share my cigarettes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Whatever. I'm sick and tired of just about everyone. I don't even hardly eat b/c I don't feel right about not paying for my groceries. All I do is take up space and that's about to change soon. I don't smoke anymore.. unless someone wants to pass it to me or I come across some money for doing chores and such.. I never realized what a favored child my brother was until I started living with him. Oh well.. Too much whining in this fucking house.
The only thing I can do is continue to keep my mouth shut and focus on moving forward.
Whatever. I'm sick and tired of just about everyone. I don't even hardly eat b/c I don't feel right about not paying for my groceries. All I do is take up space and that's about to change soon. I don't smoke anymore.. unless someone wants to pass it to me or I come across some money for doing chores and such.. I never realized what a favored child my brother was until I started living with him. Oh well.. Too much whining in this fucking house.
The only thing I can do is continue to keep my mouth shut and focus on moving forward.
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a show or something seems do-able
i'm sure something interesting is coming up in the near future.
i hear Miley Cyrus is doing a show! lol