fracturedguy

How about telling you now to shut up? The way you react to things differs during time and circumstance. All reactions must be taken in and are natural. None are to be regretted

P.S. Sorry if this doesn't help. I dunno. I'm probably drunk.

that works.

p.s. me too

um. god. i'm fighting through a migraine right now, so i can't touch all that with a ten foot pole. i'm thinking the light in all of that is the fact that you're actually thinking about this. i mean, you're reflecting on it and trying to figure it out. you're able to see multiple sides. that's a good thing in and of itself. you're not buried in denial and you're not suicidal. read some Neruda and don't think about marriage. DON'T i said.

i know it's almost pointless to argue this because i know where that argument is coming from and it is logical - at least to me - but i feel somehow like i should, well, stand up to it. i'm being very unwaterlike at the moment, but i think that's natural. while there are some definite benefits to forgoing nature and supressing certain characteristics of being human, we also have to recognize the fact that it is going against nature to do that. lots of folks out there have caused lots of hell just because they let their egos rule or got too hung up on something abstract. but conflict also brings about progress. and i'm not necessarily talking about the kind of conflict going on in the middle east, i'm talking about the kind of conflict that brings out competition and creative thought...

i enjoy those lyrics very much. i'm making up my own music in my head which is probably VERY different from the original, but it works well that way. i especially like: all i see is this little blue world but i don't believe in the sky." and the first quote got me to thinking of Kafka's Metamorphosis. intended? hmmm. perhaps i should get the context of the quote first.

which quote were you so happy to hear? i'm going to guess the Rumi one since your respones was so happy and effusive. it is a pick-me-up, isn't it? the church sign quote... well... i actually fell out of my car seat laughing. we'd just come from the cemetery where i took that fawn picture, and something about my state of mind... we had to circle back around the block so i could take the pic.

What about the age old issue of over politeness when receiving or giving?... Over politeness can fuck off.

Gratitude is a good thing to show, but I'm with you on over-politeness. If it's not sincere, it's not worth a damn.

sometimes i find myself hanging various bad habits, bad behavior, and otherwise quirks on things like my parents' divorce at a young age, being an only child, stifling my growing self in tight religion. i'm sure if i ever went to a psychotherapist from the old school, they'd be happy to agree. but in my heart of hearts, i have a hard time blaming anything i do now on something that happened so long ago. i know all those things shaped me, but i've made an infinte number of decisions since each. does that make sense? no way to know for sure what causes what, though. we're so damn complex. ever read Blink? i'm partway through right now and it's actually quite about what we're discussing.

oh, and maybe i forgot to ask before... but i really like your new profile picture and was wondering what it is/where it came from.

i think your response to #1 is very insightful... probably since i am the type to brood over something like not being greeted in return, or to at least feel a little prick like a brief touch on a thorn. grr.

on the other hand, i think have to disagree with the generalities of the second point. personally, i think it's about comfort. now i know comfort isn't exactly something one i supposed to strive toward in a set of goals like this, but sometimes it's a matter of the way things are... um, like intuition or aura. some people you just don't get along with and there's no particular reason why - in fact all signs point to the fact that you should be best friends or lovers. you can't force that. and you consider this guy a friend, but you can't force how you feel around him. does it do anyone any good to do so? maybe you do owe him enough to explain this, but if it harms you internally to be around him, surely that shows. or surely it means sending bad vibes into other parts of your life. i guess i just mean to say that it isn't fair to blanketly say "you should always accept every invitation because it might make someone feel better." phew. i'd better stop...

There is a lot to it, isn't there? Just like you, I just felt like I should stop.

What is odd about me is, I am moderately clever about seeing from others' perspective but often quite horrible at looking through my own eyes--so your thoughts would never have occurred to me.

Thanks