englishal

Maybe i should just stop talking
stop trying, just shut up
and fade away

falling,with no one to catch me
drowning, but no hand reaches to pull me up

i hate myself but
how and im gonna keep myself away from me?

why is it too much to ask?
to want to be friends, to be loved.

fickle fate or curse?

im not religious either
but im praying you comeback
england is a land filled with superstition
and superstition and belief create fear
this vow...you didnt mean it
your mums soul...
you just said it in the heat of the moment
we can talk again, we can be friends again
u know i wont stop talking to you
i wont leave you, i love you x

this is not the end

you CAN talk to me again
if your worried about the vow then pass it onto me
if you speak again to me, and i dont respect the rules
let me die

and i cant break vows either
like the fact i'll never leave you

i dont know what to do
where to go and what to say
im sick, im confused, im dizzy
my head is pounding
this cant be
it just cant
it doesnt have to be like this, i wont let it be
i promised id never desert you
what a mess
i wish youd comeback
if only to shout at and insult me
im lost, im...
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WAIT
THINK

7:40-8:20pm
and later?

Thinking of you this morning
while i was working alone
reshaping a wysteria
on the wall of a large country home

it made me smile
just one small thing you said
several weeks ago
but it's forever stored in my head

going back to work soon
the afternoon sky looks grey
but you bring me such sunshine
and brighten even the darkest day

Here goes another blog entry that nobody cares about, nobody reads, nobody comments on.
Although why would i want comments if they are like the ones others recieve from these dubious associates.
Their fake sincerity, the massaging of egos in crindgeworthy, lecherous attempts to be humorous and worst of all inciteful and poignant.
As if these narcissists have all the remedies to lifes problems, owners...
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kneeling before the judge and jury
with no one to plead my defense
no evidence or character refrence
nothing but my protests of innocence
for i am an honest man

i swear on the bible, swear on my life
i swear on the lives of my loved ones
i've done nothing wrong, the slanders are false
yet making you see this, is my sentence
but...
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crying again.......
because im an innocent man, i haven't done anything
because im mis-represented, technology is conspiring against me
because you dont trust me or believe what i say even though its the truth
because of the frustration in trying to make you see im honest
because you've hurt me and are leaving
because i still and always will love you
crying again........to sleep.

i'm sinking.
i need for tonight to come,
i cant work, i cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant concentrate
i'm a mess
and i keep on crying like this, i'm pathetic.
i'm sinking

please throw me a lifeline, it isnt too late.