"Shit, this really sucks.” Eddy said, shifting his shoulders. The sudden downpour caught him, and Maggie, off-guard.
“I’m the one that just got their hair done.” she said, taking this run of bad luck in less stride.
They had just spent the better part of three months, traveling to some of the finest local events America had to offer. Fairs, music fests, ho-downs, nothing was...
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You don’t have to buy anything. I just like being appreciated. But if you did, that’d be cool too.
Etsy.com/shop/bootiquebyboo
A man looking for a woman.
A woman who will treat me like a cat.
Play with and comb my hair. Feed me. Tell me I’m pretty, until I don’t want you to anymore.
And in return, if anyone you don’t like comes over, I’ll sit on their chest and suffocate them for you.
Because that’s love.
All I’m asking is for you to be gutter-glammed, smeared-eyeliner, ‘97 Fiona Apple-esq, glistening-from-swimming-in-a-glitter-filled-dumpster, tastes-of-lip-gloss-and-whiskey-and-smells-of-cigarettes-and-Chanel, emotionally manipulative SoCal-trash, wrapped in a junkie-chic, ‘02 Brody Dalle-esq, anarchy couture, Linda-Hamilton-doing-sweaty-pull-ups-in-an-asylum packaging.
“Good morning, Dr. Silbermann. How’s the knee?”
Please hurt me. Forever.
By: Elliott Murga
The holidays are a joyful time for most of us, but for the rest of us, it can get pretty stressful. Relaxation is lower, debt is higher, and the suspicious correlation between Auntie Whatsherface’s political choice and her growing concern over your extended single streak is starting to show. Yet despite it all, the only thing we all need to get through...
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i cant say anything about kids eating Tide Pods, knowing all the nasty places i put my mouth on a woman. And i'm a grown ass man who should know better.
