Bonfuckingjour!
Peeps are asking about the rants, theyre all "Deucey! The rants, we want the rants!" Ok, quick disclaimer here, two people, Platy & Wolfie. You dogs is on my Christmas list, no waitMy Krampus list, that fucker will beat the fucking living tar out of you and take you away to his dwelling where he will commit unspeakable acts on your bodies. Wait, no thats my Christmas wish! Ill get you guys a Body Shop voucher, some avocado scrub or something.
Me first you fucking brats, stop hogging the Krampus!
Anywho, to those that care or not, I feel like Im out of the woods. Which is great, I was sidelined with a fucking broken heart which Ill not mention cause everytime I do I erase the fucking blog! Anywho rants. I got em. Hearken to them or not.
I like to amuse myself by thinking about contemaphlatards and how they would climb up the social ladder in the wild against some fucking kick ass predators, heres some examples:
Julia Guillard vs Top End crocodiles...
Now I can understand your policy on consuming me whole, but before you devour me in the most painful and horrific way, let me show you how the Labour Party can help you get a leg up. Its called the, 'Crococaucus', and involves Labour sinking funds into the Top End waterways and tributaries. This will be done with absolutely no regard to its effectiveness, the plan is to send armoured trucks with bags of cash and literally dump them in the water. Now with my support..
Tony Abbott vs Dingos on Fraser Island,
Now I understand how the Labour Party has let you down, now let me speak for the Liberal Party when I say, devouring me as a ravenous pack will not aid your cause. For too long, Labour has persisted in a sustained campaign of funded feeding to your pack with absolutely no regard for the facilitating of long term projects for self-sufficiency. My party offers you depressing low income housing if you allow us to rape your mineral rich island. Wait, that sounds like a Labour proposal, um yes of course! OK, no low income housing, you get the fuck out and well blame you being soft on asylum seekers.
Anywho, I'll end this on the women I love, pick a set, pick a toon, roll up, motherfuckers roll up!
Romany, check out her new set!
Next up, Kate Bush. Before I even knew what to do with it Kate gave me wood. I was like 6 years old, I remember thinking, shit I really want to touch you! So what's changed? Fucking Jack, I still love Kate.
Brody Dalle, fucking nuff' said! When I first heard The Distillers, for the first time in ages, I thought Punks not Dead. This in age when Punk was some homogenised pretty boy with tatts bullshit singing about love, middle class white boys you wanted to beat up.
Lene Lovich, One fucking Kooky bitch!
Wendy O' Williams, see those fucking try hards with gaffa tape on their tits, yep, Wendy did that, went there...
Siouxsie, fuck yeah!
Bertie Blackman
Portishead, ok everyone sampled this, but hey.
Brooklyn Funk Essentials
Delving deeper, Serge Gainsbourg & Brigitte Bardot
Ruby & The Romantics, seriously every man and his dog has done a version of this!
The Creepshow
Nina cause she's everyone's favourite crazy bitch!
Finally Paris Combo...
So thanks for choosing a song and reading my fucking blog, if you check under your seats you'll find a set of keys to your new car! Wait, I'm not Oprah. Fine, you stole fizzy lifting drinks you get Nothing!
You still here? Get the fuck off my page! there's nothing left and leave that fucking everlasting gobstopper on my desk on your way out!
Peeps are asking about the rants, theyre all "Deucey! The rants, we want the rants!" Ok, quick disclaimer here, two people, Platy & Wolfie. You dogs is on my Christmas list, no waitMy Krampus list, that fucker will beat the fucking living tar out of you and take you away to his dwelling where he will commit unspeakable acts on your bodies. Wait, no thats my Christmas wish! Ill get you guys a Body Shop voucher, some avocado scrub or something.
Me first you fucking brats, stop hogging the Krampus!
Anywho, to those that care or not, I feel like Im out of the woods. Which is great, I was sidelined with a fucking broken heart which Ill not mention cause everytime I do I erase the fucking blog! Anywho rants. I got em. Hearken to them or not.
I like to amuse myself by thinking about contemaphlatards and how they would climb up the social ladder in the wild against some fucking kick ass predators, heres some examples:
Julia Guillard vs Top End crocodiles...
Now I can understand your policy on consuming me whole, but before you devour me in the most painful and horrific way, let me show you how the Labour Party can help you get a leg up. Its called the, 'Crococaucus', and involves Labour sinking funds into the Top End waterways and tributaries. This will be done with absolutely no regard to its effectiveness, the plan is to send armoured trucks with bags of cash and literally dump them in the water. Now with my support..
Tony Abbott vs Dingos on Fraser Island,
Now I understand how the Labour Party has let you down, now let me speak for the Liberal Party when I say, devouring me as a ravenous pack will not aid your cause. For too long, Labour has persisted in a sustained campaign of funded feeding to your pack with absolutely no regard for the facilitating of long term projects for self-sufficiency. My party offers you depressing low income housing if you allow us to rape your mineral rich island. Wait, that sounds like a Labour proposal, um yes of course! OK, no low income housing, you get the fuck out and well blame you being soft on asylum seekers.
Anywho, I'll end this on the women I love, pick a set, pick a toon, roll up, motherfuckers roll up!
Romany, check out her new set!
Next up, Kate Bush. Before I even knew what to do with it Kate gave me wood. I was like 6 years old, I remember thinking, shit I really want to touch you! So what's changed? Fucking Jack, I still love Kate.
Brody Dalle, fucking nuff' said! When I first heard The Distillers, for the first time in ages, I thought Punks not Dead. This in age when Punk was some homogenised pretty boy with tatts bullshit singing about love, middle class white boys you wanted to beat up.
Lene Lovich, One fucking Kooky bitch!
Wendy O' Williams, see those fucking try hards with gaffa tape on their tits, yep, Wendy did that, went there...
Siouxsie, fuck yeah!
Bertie Blackman
Portishead, ok everyone sampled this, but hey.
Brooklyn Funk Essentials
Delving deeper, Serge Gainsbourg & Brigitte Bardot
Ruby & The Romantics, seriously every man and his dog has done a version of this!
The Creepshow
Nina cause she's everyone's favourite crazy bitch!
Finally Paris Combo...
So thanks for choosing a song and reading my fucking blog, if you check under your seats you'll find a set of keys to your new car! Wait, I'm not Oprah. Fine, you stole fizzy lifting drinks you get Nothing!
You still here? Get the fuck off my page! there's nothing left and leave that fucking everlasting gobstopper on my desk on your way out!
Haha yeah i wanted to touch Kate myself back in the day,but to be honest my biggest crush and inspiration from then was Toyah,4'11 of spunky red haired chaos