*** 146 days remain ***
Cosyne finds another fun way to torture his roommate
My roommate is SO annoying
She complains about dirty dishes and the like
So the other day I did this.
Yesterday though, I may have one-upped myself
You see, I poured some of her soymilk into a bowl
Then I ACTUALLY dipped my balls in it
Then I poured the...
Read More
Cosyne finds another fun way to torture his roommate
My roommate is SO annoying
She complains about dirty dishes and the like
So the other day I did this.
Yesterday though, I may have one-upped myself
You see, I poured some of her soymilk into a bowl
Then I ACTUALLY dipped my balls in it
Then I poured the...
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
*** 150 days remain ***
Cosyne prepares for the impending battle against the retard queen
So let's review:
There was my co-worker, the filmmaker
He asked me one day how to ask out a girl
The next day he claimed that he only dated supermodels and actresses
There was the crazy girl
She done got beat up good
Then she peed on my furniture
But...
Read More
Cosyne prepares for the impending battle against the retard queen
So let's review:
There was my co-worker, the filmmaker
He asked me one day how to ask out a girl
The next day he claimed that he only dated supermodels and actresses
There was the crazy girl
She done got beat up good
Then she peed on my furniture
But...
Read More
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
sinovia:
great! but which one? i'm guessing greenlake? [but wait, all the 'tards go to the u-village... i just dunno]
lanya:
i am so sorry. i promise to come visit you at work so we can torment her together.
however, i warn, the point at which she tries to convert me is the point i reach into my purse, pull out a smoke, light it, drag, and put it out in her eye.
sizzle.
however, i warn, the point at which she tries to convert me is the point i reach into my purse, pull out a smoke, light it, drag, and put it out in her eye.
sizzle.
*** 151 days remain ***
Cosyne deals with a confused customer
Yesterday a woman came into my work
She said, "I'll have a larger salad and a pizza."
There's only one problem
I work in a coffee shop
We sure as fuck don't sell pizza
Our "salads" are greens in a plastic box and come in ONE SIZE
I explained to her that she was...
Read More
Cosyne deals with a confused customer
Yesterday a woman came into my work
She said, "I'll have a larger salad and a pizza."
There's only one problem
I work in a coffee shop
We sure as fuck don't sell pizza
Our "salads" are greens in a plastic box and come in ONE SIZE
I explained to her that she was...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
sinovia:
pretty please tell me where you work!!??
[Edited on Jun 16, 2005 9:47PM]
[Edited on Jun 16, 2005 9:47PM]
doll_:
what, removing your face?
*** 153 days remain ***
Whenever my roommate gets home, she hi-tails it, as fast as her little piggy legs can, to the bathroom for what I can only assume to be doo-doo.
Today, I have hidden all the toilet paper.
I've also hidden all the paper towels.
I even went so far as to throw out all the old newspapers and Strangers that have...
Read More
Whenever my roommate gets home, she hi-tails it, as fast as her little piggy legs can, to the bathroom for what I can only assume to be doo-doo.
Today, I have hidden all the toilet paper.
I've also hidden all the paper towels.
I even went so far as to throw out all the old newspapers and Strangers that have...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
luminaire:
Yes.
fallfromgrace:
that's amazingly brilliant.
***154 days remain ***
Hahahahaha!
As you all know I am a magnet for retards
Today was no exception
This motherfucker came into my work
He was like, "I'd like to purchase a pound of coffee beans, please."
And I'm all like, "Ok sure, you should try this coffee from Yemen. It's exquisite."
And he's all like, "Hey, those coffee beans smell really fantastic!! Here's...
Read More
Hahahahaha!
As you all know I am a magnet for retards
Today was no exception
This motherfucker came into my work
He was like, "I'd like to purchase a pound of coffee beans, please."
And I'm all like, "Ok sure, you should try this coffee from Yemen. It's exquisite."
And he's all like, "Hey, those coffee beans smell really fantastic!! Here's...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
luminaire:
Dude
what happened
to your
journal entry?
what happened
to your
journal entry?
luminaire:
Also, StrongMad is right. Spud's and Sunfish are the only places you should be getting fish and chips from.
There's a Spud's like right next to my house.
There's a Spud's like right next to my house.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
strongmad:
Were you drunk at the time? because that almost makes sense if you were drunk. I, sadly, have no such excuse.
lankakitten:
Never believe tests that say you're a humorless donkey.
cosyne:
Drinks I've poured
*** 160 days remain ***
Cosyne gives sex advice to a good friend
cosyne: I'm flattered that you would come to me for advice about your problem. I'm not exactly an expert but....
Good Friend: had a question.
OK, what was your question?
Ok do somegirls just not like giving oral and never say they do.
Um.....what?
My GF and i when we have sex...
Read More
Cosyne gives sex advice to a good friend
cosyne: I'm flattered that you would come to me for advice about your problem. I'm not exactly an expert but....
Good Friend: had a question.
OK, what was your question?
Ok do somegirls just not like giving oral and never say they do.
Um.....what?
My GF and i when we have sex...
Read More
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
lankakitten:
Yes!
kramit1212:
Thats a good idea. When would we have the time though? I suppose we could do it and then turn in a copy to the training department and say, "We did you're job bitches! What do we need you for?!" I did write a 4 page essay on training. It needs editing and I think I wrote it assuming the reader has at least some concept of what they're doing, but its a start. I'll give you a copy if you're interested. Oh, and I've had this for a litte while. Our 35 year old 12 year old friend whose "girlfriend" you messed around with took it with his bazillion dollar camera phone.
[Edited on Jun 09, 2005 10:38PM]
[Edited on Jun 09, 2005 10:38PM]
*** 161 days remain ***
Cosyne goes to the U-District post office
clerk: HERRO! Nex a cussa-mah PREESE!
cosyne: Hi. I need to remail this package
OH! A Wrut have re heeeere? A This a package is already mailed! What you do?
Um. No I need to RE-mail it. It was returned to me because it couldn't be forwarded.
You address wrong. On package is...
Read More
Cosyne goes to the U-District post office
clerk: HERRO! Nex a cussa-mah PREESE!
cosyne: Hi. I need to remail this package
OH! A Wrut have re heeeere? A This a package is already mailed! What you do?
Um. No I need to RE-mail it. It was returned to me because it couldn't be forwarded.
You address wrong. On package is...
Read More
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
mistersatan:
Go back and tell him REAL change comes from within.
Then eat a sandwich right in front of him.
Then eat a sandwich right in front of him.
mistersatan:
Well, he wouldn't if you curbed your addiction to dogshit sandwiches.
Degenerate.
Degenerate.
*** 161 days remain ***
Eesh. I feel like the world's biggest skeeze right now.
Eesh. I feel like the world's biggest skeeze right now.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
bluetrust:
You had a headache and stopped at Starbucks, didn't you!?
luminaire:
I had to read that like 10 times to figure out what you were saying.
*** 164 days remain ***
Yesterday during an all-store meeting, my boss announced my promotion to everyone.
I don't think I've ever gotten so many dirty looks.
Yesterday during an all-store meeting, my boss announced my promotion to everyone.
I don't think I've ever gotten so many dirty looks.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
fallfromgrace:
congrats on the promotion. 
kramit1212:
She told everyone about it already? I didn't think she was gonna break the news yet. Congrats. The fact that you got dirty looks just means this is the right thing.
Sorry I've been out of contact, I've been in Vegas.
That anagram is too big for me to figure out, but I know what its about.
Did you hear about the Element?
Call me tomorrow. Errr..... Later today.
Sorry I've been out of contact, I've been in Vegas.
That anagram is too big for me to figure out, but I know what its about.
Did you hear about the Element?
Call me tomorrow. Errr..... Later today.
*** 164 days remain ***
I hate to brag, but let's just say that my Level 8 Time Mage just cast her most powerful spell on me. Twice.
What the fuck is he talking about?
DESIRE FOR WATER WITHOUT STREET ABBREVIATION DARJEELING CONSUMED SYMBOL FOR HYDROGEN
I hate to brag, but let's just say that my Level 8 Time Mage just cast her most powerful spell on me. Twice.
What the fuck is he talking about?
DESIRE FOR WATER WITHOUT STREET ABBREVIATION DARJEELING CONSUMED SYMBOL FOR HYDROGEN
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
redhotmachine:
i may have heard of them... i cant seem to recall anything about them though so maybe not
redhotmachine:
PS.... here's my fun story:
I have a few things that I'd let to get off my chest, 3 to be exact.
1st - Friday in my books has now been deemed the worst day. If ever there was a day when you should wake up and say to yourself "There is a serious possibility that at some point today I may maime, kill or otherwise fuck myself up" and then just say screw it and keep on truckin' through the sleep time, it would most certainly be today.
2nd - I hate driving and anything else even remotely automobile related.
3rd - Chicks CAN'T drive. Period.
So having said all that, I feel that I should elaborate now and share with you my sad, sad tale. Ladies, please grab your tissues now because once we get started there will be no stopping..... OOOOK, well today is friday and even though that should have been fair warning for me to just stay home... oh no, I ignored all the danger signs and woke my ass up (at 9am no less). So my plan was to go to the gym and go tanning. Not necissarally in that order though. I went tanning first and I'm not gonna lie, It was a good time. Unfortunately I never did make it to the gym on this fateful friday though. Like I said, chicks can't drive and I fucking drove off a hill in the parking lot of Goodlife. Now where this giant fucking cliff came from and what it was doing in a parking lot i'll never know but I swear to God that it just appeared right under my car. Or at least that's the story I'm telling people when they ask. So now I'm stuck.... like I'm not fucking going ANYWHERE!!!!! This bald douche bag who, for the purposes of this story wears women's panties, comes out and is all like "oh, you can just drive right out" and I'm like "clearly I can't because I'm fucking STUCK you dickbag moron". I decide that I'm gonna listen to him for a bit cause I obviously don't have any better ideas. AND THEN!!!! he's like 'it's ok, it won't damage your car too much!' Thanks moron... good deduction. I hate you! Well big fucking surprise, IT DOESN'T WORK! So after about five minutes of me getting rapidly stupider in the presence of this blatently obvious lesbian, some real men come to my aid and totally win friday, they just lift the fucker right on outta there. So I was so grateful that I actually thought of getting them a case of beer or something but then I came to my senses and decided to save my money by just showing them my boobs. Score one for me, I'm so resourceful. So I never did get to the gym today and I probly won't go tomorrow either cause I'm lazy. But you know what, it's ok cause I'm addicted to diet pills! Who wins friday now BEEEYAAAATCH?
I have a few things that I'd let to get off my chest, 3 to be exact.
1st - Friday in my books has now been deemed the worst day. If ever there was a day when you should wake up and say to yourself "There is a serious possibility that at some point today I may maime, kill or otherwise fuck myself up" and then just say screw it and keep on truckin' through the sleep time, it would most certainly be today.
2nd - I hate driving and anything else even remotely automobile related.
3rd - Chicks CAN'T drive. Period.
So having said all that, I feel that I should elaborate now and share with you my sad, sad tale. Ladies, please grab your tissues now because once we get started there will be no stopping..... OOOOK, well today is friday and even though that should have been fair warning for me to just stay home... oh no, I ignored all the danger signs and woke my ass up (at 9am no less). So my plan was to go to the gym and go tanning. Not necissarally in that order though. I went tanning first and I'm not gonna lie, It was a good time. Unfortunately I never did make it to the gym on this fateful friday though. Like I said, chicks can't drive and I fucking drove off a hill in the parking lot of Goodlife. Now where this giant fucking cliff came from and what it was doing in a parking lot i'll never know but I swear to God that it just appeared right under my car. Or at least that's the story I'm telling people when they ask. So now I'm stuck.... like I'm not fucking going ANYWHERE!!!!! This bald douche bag who, for the purposes of this story wears women's panties, comes out and is all like "oh, you can just drive right out" and I'm like "clearly I can't because I'm fucking STUCK you dickbag moron". I decide that I'm gonna listen to him for a bit cause I obviously don't have any better ideas. AND THEN!!!! he's like 'it's ok, it won't damage your car too much!' Thanks moron... good deduction. I hate you! Well big fucking surprise, IT DOESN'T WORK! So after about five minutes of me getting rapidly stupider in the presence of this blatently obvious lesbian, some real men come to my aid and totally win friday, they just lift the fucker right on outta there. So I was so grateful that I actually thought of getting them a case of beer or something but then I came to my senses and decided to save my money by just showing them my boobs. Score one for me, I'm so resourceful. So I never did get to the gym today and I probly won't go tomorrow either cause I'm lazy. But you know what, it's ok cause I'm addicted to diet pills! Who wins friday now BEEEYAAAATCH?
Check your friends thread!