Lately, I have been questioning the direction in which my life is going...
At the start of the new year, I took some necessary steps to change my lifestyle and change the person I am in hopes that I'll become a happier, healthier person.
Quitting cigarettes and weed have proven to be quite rewarding. My mind is more focused; my thoughts don't trail as much and I have less overall confusion. My eating habits have regularized (4 meals a day), as well as my sleeping hours (7-8 hours a night). My body is back to a stabilized state.
However my soul is still yearning for some answers...
I must confess I am extremely unhappy with my current job, and dislike waking up to go to work in the morning. As some of you know, I'm a banker by trade but not by choice. Though the job pays well, and the benefits are in my favor, I don't like doing what I do. It's monotonous, boring, and I have no love for the work I do. I'm good at my job, but its not what I see myself doing years from now... I don't want to make a career of it.
Another thing that has me down is the fact that I dropped out of school... Something I regret deeply. Being in a school setting satisfied and deepened my hunger for knowledge. But I had to drop out because I couldn't afford going to class and working part time in my old financial situation. And I couldn't work full time and go to classes because it would effect my grades... So now, I'm working full time to save up enough cash to either go back to school or travel.
Traveling is also something I've always wanted to do ever since I was a child but never had the money or privilege to do. I have a deep love for humanity and culture in all its varieties. I want to experience them all first hand or atleast learn about them. Being at work all the time totally prevents me from doing those things... but it's not like I have a choice. I need the money to do those things and I need to work to get that... uccch.
I really need to figure out what it is that I want to do with my life so that I can wake up in the morning and be happy with what my day will bring. I want to wake up knowing that my efforts are being put towards a meaningful cause.
Does anyone have any advice? Or perhaps they can shed some light on the matter? Have they ever felt similarly or been in a similar situation? Hated your job? Felt like you weren't headed in the right direction? Didn't like where your lifestyle was taking you? Or were not sure how you should go about your life to get closer to the things you want to do?
Help a brother out.
At the start of the new year, I took some necessary steps to change my lifestyle and change the person I am in hopes that I'll become a happier, healthier person.
Quitting cigarettes and weed have proven to be quite rewarding. My mind is more focused; my thoughts don't trail as much and I have less overall confusion. My eating habits have regularized (4 meals a day), as well as my sleeping hours (7-8 hours a night). My body is back to a stabilized state.
However my soul is still yearning for some answers...
I must confess I am extremely unhappy with my current job, and dislike waking up to go to work in the morning. As some of you know, I'm a banker by trade but not by choice. Though the job pays well, and the benefits are in my favor, I don't like doing what I do. It's monotonous, boring, and I have no love for the work I do. I'm good at my job, but its not what I see myself doing years from now... I don't want to make a career of it.
Another thing that has me down is the fact that I dropped out of school... Something I regret deeply. Being in a school setting satisfied and deepened my hunger for knowledge. But I had to drop out because I couldn't afford going to class and working part time in my old financial situation. And I couldn't work full time and go to classes because it would effect my grades... So now, I'm working full time to save up enough cash to either go back to school or travel.
Traveling is also something I've always wanted to do ever since I was a child but never had the money or privilege to do. I have a deep love for humanity and culture in all its varieties. I want to experience them all first hand or atleast learn about them. Being at work all the time totally prevents me from doing those things... but it's not like I have a choice. I need the money to do those things and I need to work to get that... uccch.
I really need to figure out what it is that I want to do with my life so that I can wake up in the morning and be happy with what my day will bring. I want to wake up knowing that my efforts are being put towards a meaningful cause.
Does anyone have any advice? Or perhaps they can shed some light on the matter? Have they ever felt similarly or been in a similar situation? Hated your job? Felt like you weren't headed in the right direction? Didn't like where your lifestyle was taking you? Or were not sure how you should go about your life to get closer to the things you want to do?
Help a brother out.
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Actually I know what you mean, but its not one individual that made me do my blog. I just don,t feel like I'm part of any organization. I mean, school, work, suicide girls, parties. I always feel like i'm left over... ( and I WANT to be left over) ... hard to express myself, but I feel like everybody is following the flow like sheeps and I'm the black sheep that doesn,t wanna go and do like the other fucking sheeps