so i've never really done blogging before, mainly because i'm not sure who exactly would be interested in what i have to say lol but i'm having a rough time at the moment and i think it'll be a good way to vent, get things out of my head and maybe even pick up some helpful advice.
oh and if anyone actually reads this, sorry if i ramble a bit. i don't really know what i'm doing
first up, i lost my job on friday cut backs meant some staff had to go and i was one of the unlucky chosen few. it really sucks because i really loved that job and it would be very hard to replace anyway. add the current lack of jobs as a whole in the UK and the fact that i live in a shitty little village, the options narrow even more prospects are not exactly looking peachy but all i can do is try my best and resist the urge to burn the job centre down every fortnight
right; mini rant over onto the thing that's been really troubling me for a while. So there's this girl, Charlie, and she is absolutely perfect in every imaginable way you could ever think of. She's breathtakingly beautiful, the coolest person you'd ever meet, so sweet and unassuming, hilarious, witty, intelligent, caring and so modest it's unreal.
Ive been talking to her now for almost 2 years, most days for a good couple of hours and literally, the more i talk to her the harder i fall for her. now i'm not stupid, i know i'm not the best looking guy in the world, average at best and i know logically the distance between us (230 miles-ish) would make it impossible to ever be with her, i realised that from day 1. i never planned on falling for her but it happened.
We still talk all the time, this morning we talked until 6am and i'm more than happy with being her friend. i truly am honoured that she has any time for me the problems i'm having now are these, she has a boyfriend now and things seem to be going well although details a scarce. She knows how i feel about her and I think she's worried about upsetting me. now i am 100% delighted for her, no question at all, but is it wrong that when i see him mentioned or think about it i feel physically sick? i dunno, hopefully that will pass with time.
the other thing is i'm really not sure how anyone will ever be able to compare to her in the future it's really worrying, i mean i couldn't get her, to think that i could get anyone as close to as epic is just fooling myself again isn't it? what should i be thinking here? obviously i need to lower my standards here but should i just try to forget about her? ...ahhh my head hurts i need some metal
oh and if anyone actually reads this, sorry if i ramble a bit. i don't really know what i'm doing
first up, i lost my job on friday cut backs meant some staff had to go and i was one of the unlucky chosen few. it really sucks because i really loved that job and it would be very hard to replace anyway. add the current lack of jobs as a whole in the UK and the fact that i live in a shitty little village, the options narrow even more prospects are not exactly looking peachy but all i can do is try my best and resist the urge to burn the job centre down every fortnight
right; mini rant over onto the thing that's been really troubling me for a while. So there's this girl, Charlie, and she is absolutely perfect in every imaginable way you could ever think of. She's breathtakingly beautiful, the coolest person you'd ever meet, so sweet and unassuming, hilarious, witty, intelligent, caring and so modest it's unreal.
Ive been talking to her now for almost 2 years, most days for a good couple of hours and literally, the more i talk to her the harder i fall for her. now i'm not stupid, i know i'm not the best looking guy in the world, average at best and i know logically the distance between us (230 miles-ish) would make it impossible to ever be with her, i realised that from day 1. i never planned on falling for her but it happened.
We still talk all the time, this morning we talked until 6am and i'm more than happy with being her friend. i truly am honoured that she has any time for me the problems i'm having now are these, she has a boyfriend now and things seem to be going well although details a scarce. She knows how i feel about her and I think she's worried about upsetting me. now i am 100% delighted for her, no question at all, but is it wrong that when i see him mentioned or think about it i feel physically sick? i dunno, hopefully that will pass with time.
the other thing is i'm really not sure how anyone will ever be able to compare to her in the future it's really worrying, i mean i couldn't get her, to think that i could get anyone as close to as epic is just fooling myself again isn't it? what should i be thinking here? obviously i need to lower my standards here but should i just try to forget about her? ...ahhh my head hurts i need some metal
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
your a super cool guy not average looking at all!
plus you met david tennant =)
you rock at guitar hero!
that put you up a few thousand checks =)
on my checklist that is lol
I think seems you have never met her i think what you are feeling is more along the lines of lust
or something like that
but when you dnt meet some one and you just message them you get to know their strong points
more then anything because thats all they want to show you..
im not sure if i am helping but thats how i see things...
I think though if you feel that strongly about her you should try and meet her and if you finally do decide how you feel =/
or you should just try talking to her every once in awhile dnt depend on her message to get you through the day
and when she does try to play it down in your head like its no big deal
=)
i had to do that with greg
because i was way to dependent on him and every time he left me i felt sadd =(
i dnt know if i rambled i have techno on so thats all i can really think about haha