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The dating site thing....no explanation for that.
The rape fantasies...
I like rough sex. Unfortunately with the love of my life the sex is soft and sweet. I look at that shit sometimes too. My boyf gets pissed and jealous (he's especially jealous of SG). But to me its just stimulation. I don't want anyone else, but I still like what I like. I wonder if it's different for guys with that. If not, maybe your boyf doesnt want to give you up and just wants to enjoy what he enjoys. Has he tried to get you into it and you arent?
It all comes down to honest communication. Thats the life force of relationships. Talk to him. You're smart. Youll find a way to bring it up if you havent before without saying a word about snooping.