Week three of abstaining from hardcore porn and masturbation... Five weeks of single life... And It's a fucking roller coaster. I'm definitely going through some withdrawal symptoms. Mostly physiological. I've always been in touch with my emotions. lately though, it's been a little over whelming. I flat out started balling the other day watching a video of a cat being rescued and revived from a burning house.
I've put forth more effort on the dating front. I've been trying the "lets date" app and "Okcupid". "Lets Date" has been completely useless. Which is kind of a let down because the app is beautifully designed. Okcupid has been ok. Been using it less than 5 days and have actually met 2 people already. It takes a lot of effort, I write very sincere messages proving I've read their profile, Insert witty humor, and ask smart questions. And my reply rate is about 20%.
The whole online dating process is a bit tiring and emotional. I find when I get frustrated my desire to watch a hardcore porn flix and rub one out becomes stronger. Pointing to the fact I used it to smother my emotions. Though I've observed moments where my desire to masturbate feel healthy and natural. Like waking from an erotic dream with my body on fire with desire to make love. Still abstaining though and observing my emotions. I may have a person of interest come to mind during these moments and as long as I feel the appreciation for them and not the attachment to trying make something happen with them it feels natural.
Anyways. I'm not sure if anyone reads these, and maybe that's why this feels like a safe place to write about this stuff...
Cheers
I've put forth more effort on the dating front. I've been trying the "lets date" app and "Okcupid". "Lets Date" has been completely useless. Which is kind of a let down because the app is beautifully designed. Okcupid has been ok. Been using it less than 5 days and have actually met 2 people already. It takes a lot of effort, I write very sincere messages proving I've read their profile, Insert witty humor, and ask smart questions. And my reply rate is about 20%.
The whole online dating process is a bit tiring and emotional. I find when I get frustrated my desire to watch a hardcore porn flix and rub one out becomes stronger. Pointing to the fact I used it to smother my emotions. Though I've observed moments where my desire to masturbate feel healthy and natural. Like waking from an erotic dream with my body on fire with desire to make love. Still abstaining though and observing my emotions. I may have a person of interest come to mind during these moments and as long as I feel the appreciation for them and not the attachment to trying make something happen with them it feels natural.
Anyways. I'm not sure if anyone reads these, and maybe that's why this feels like a safe place to write about this stuff...
Cheers