So I have been having a fairly shitty time the past couple of weeks. My parents seem determined to drive me crazy, or to create so much tension over the upcoming marriage that they drive us apart, effectively turning me back into their dependent, good, little daughter. (which I never was but that doesn't matter - delusions are rarely based on anything) I am not... Read More
Hey, I think you've got it right, it doesn't really matter what they think. To me, being married is recognizing the way things are, not making things any special way. It's like being a black belt, once you ARE a black belt - you get one, it's recognition, not some magical state change. So, if you and your fiance are truly married, the ceremony and all that is just a recognition, and when your parents finally see the truth (as they no doubt will, in time) they'll understand it was not something changeable.
Caught between the hammer and the anvil, I need time to think but have none. I need to escape but have no where to go, I need good advice and do not know who to ask. It was easier when I was young and I could believe that other people knew what they were talking about. I could look up at them and believe what... Read More
Some trite advice from someone you don't even know.
According to Plato, the first step is to know thyself. I think if you look at yourself and your life honestly, you will see your path. If it is your true path and you follow it, then you have done the right thing. I have faith that deep down we all know our path when we see it.
As for retribution, there are those that are not worth the time and effort. They live in typical, mediocre misery and life extracts a payment beyond my dreams of cruelty in each day, each week, each year, each decade of loss and forgetting. I try to remain passive and not allow their weaknesses to impact me. My time, effort and attention are too valuable.
Anyway, I don't know your situation but that is what popped into my head as your purple haze set scrolled by on my second monitor.
So I was all ready to update and then my phone rang and I know have nothing to say. Hmm. Things are still going well, I am finally starting to get enough sleep at night now which is nice. And wedding plans are finally moving forwrd, we might have a venue booked after today if everything goes well! *crosses fingers* Wish me luck!
Just a quick update to say I am so happy spring is here I could just dance all day and night ...
except I'm uber-horny lately with all the porno I have to look at all day so my dancing looks a little more like a cat in heat than rhythmic movement to music...
I am the happiest Lokikins I could be right now & it all happened in the last few days. At work on Monday they decided to give me an entirely different job which is actually a lot of fun and interesting and, while not being difficult, requires some actually thought and organization.
i Buck 65. Specifically This Right Here is Buck 65. More Specifically "Phil" & "Wicked & Weird".
They are my ultimate happy songs somehow. I don't really know why but everytime I hear them I feel my shoulders relax a little and my head feels less heavy... Wicked I understand - its so happy & free but Phil is just comforting in a totally... Read More
So many false starts, how I can believe myself this time? So easy to give up, its the path most burned into my brain and we are so very much creatures of habit. Not this time... somehow. This time I won't start so I can't give up. I've already started, now I just have to continue. And every morning I will decide again to continue,... Read More
I can feel it, deep in the core of me, dark and heavy and solid as a rock: the depression that never goes away, the cold blue fire that consumes me without heat, freezing me from the inside out. Another year older and I still feel as if I am waiting for my life to start. I never thought I would take such solace from... Read More
Buck 65. Specifically This Right Here is Buck 65. More Specifically "Phil" & "Wicked & Weird".
Wicked I understand - its so happy & free but Phil is just comforting in a totally... 
um, that should be at the TOP of the list, not the bottom.