Ouch!

Yes if you prick me I DO bleed.

My distractions do not define my existance, they merely entertain.

Yet, and as always, you give me much to think about.

It seems that you want me to "keep it real". I am always real but I desire the reality to be fabulous in nature. I live and breathe, I get upset by things, people,I feel dissapointed. I do laundry and cook and clean. I work. I get the sniffles...etc.

Here I can just be fun if I want to. I can have that fun without consequence. It is a lovely distraction, yes, and of late I've let it be little more then that. Unrealistic I know, I know.

You are right though, one cannot always be on. and anyone who is "on" all the time is trying to live out a fantasy life while giving little reguard to realiity.

I realise now that this can be frustrating for someone trying to get to know me. I honestly hadn't given that much thought...and I am sorry for being shallow.
I never meant to behave in such a superficial manner with you.

Perhaps I fear emotional intimacy. (yes, I'm sure that I do) There are reasons for that, not excuses, only explanations..(to follow)
I seem to have alot of things to explain, reveal and It's getting personal, I will continue in an e-mail, but I leave you with this.

I once had the pleasure of a very intelligent friends company and he told me something that has stuck with me all these many years "Sex without love is like masturbating using another persons body". Sometimes I forget his wise words.

So true...

...and still you make me smile!
I, dearest Zode, am my own worst critic. Sign of stress. I am told also that I try too hard another sign. In reality, sometimes I don't try hard enough.....

On another note, You truly astound me and I so want to learn more about you.

[Edited on Dec 05, 2005 4:55PM]

[Edited on Dec 05, 2005 4:57PM]

I have the feeling that staying up after 2 a.m. with you is far more interesting than typing a paper any day....

(just a hunch)

I guess!!!

Amen, above.

He (me) lives. Give him thanks and praise.

Good to hear from you. Rauchbier has, if anything, only preserved me like a salmon.

Shall we fill a page of handmade paper, enclose it in a bottle and cast it off to sea in the hopes that it will find it's intended?

Romantic...yes, but practical?...., hardly.

Mine has a mohawk, of sorts.

Well, sometimes a mohawk and sometimes nothing at all. Depends on her mood.


[Edited on Dec 07, 2005 9:26AM]

Meh! It's all good.

I certainly do not have the time to do all the things I want to do (who does) However, this only forces me to make the most of the things I take time for.. I may not get much accomplished but what does get completed is extra special good.

Why should I do a half ass job on everthing when I can do a fabulous job on a few things that matter?

Better a crust of bread where there is love then a great feast in a house of disdain.

I was off last night so I'm catching up on the chore-whoring today. then back to work tonight and tomorrow.

I love those lotteria cards!

Morning love!

Your job sounds really terrific. Power, influence, creativity...........

and BEER! Lots of lovely beer! (at least once a year)


Sorry, I am very silly as I have not yet placed head to pillow.

My goodness I'm ashamed of what poor quality I've put out there this morning. Do forgive?
...and kiss goodnight?

Thank you Dear!

I'll be sure to wear my mutandoni lunghis to work!

...and goodnight

[Edited on Dec 08, 2005 10:14AM]

lol...good to know there's somebody who can see past the "money shots"!!