Four months and some odd days later.
I have returned to a site that I once could not get enough of. Now, I peruse the pages and photo sets like a stranger in a strangeland. I have no idea who any of the suicidegirls are nowadays. I miss the old days the "all or nothing" days.
The film rolls that I mentioned in the last blog are still undeveloped sitting across from me at the moment.
I try to reminisce and recollect events and moments from the last few months to catch up on but they're all fragmented and dates are unknown now. I've been locked away in my fortress of solitude for the majority of the time. Either due to lack or money or lack of effort. Just as fast as my life changed two years ago, for better or worse, a great change will be laid upon me once more.
Some days and weeks have been more difficult than others but either way, I make it through. Thoughts and scenarios race through my mind as fast as humanly possible without a break. I've been on a sobriety kick now for quite sometime, its really a double edged blade when I think about it. Feeling better, cleaner from the inside but also nothing to help alter my state of consciousness. I remember reading an interview with Maynard from Tool somewhere many years ago where he said something about people should take the experience of mind altering drugs, hold onto that feeling so that they can come back to that place without have to continue use.
While I agree and have accomplished such, I'd rather have my state of consciousness altered at least for sometime. Ha.
I always sign on with the intention of writing some great blog and end up having my original train of thought derailed past the point of fuck it. Which is where I am right now. I do have some photos to post, some events to describe but for now. I am going to do some reading or meandering about.
Till then, Farewell and may the force be with you.
I have returned to a site that I once could not get enough of. Now, I peruse the pages and photo sets like a stranger in a strangeland. I have no idea who any of the suicidegirls are nowadays. I miss the old days the "all or nothing" days.
The film rolls that I mentioned in the last blog are still undeveloped sitting across from me at the moment.
I try to reminisce and recollect events and moments from the last few months to catch up on but they're all fragmented and dates are unknown now. I've been locked away in my fortress of solitude for the majority of the time. Either due to lack or money or lack of effort. Just as fast as my life changed two years ago, for better or worse, a great change will be laid upon me once more.
Some days and weeks have been more difficult than others but either way, I make it through. Thoughts and scenarios race through my mind as fast as humanly possible without a break. I've been on a sobriety kick now for quite sometime, its really a double edged blade when I think about it. Feeling better, cleaner from the inside but also nothing to help alter my state of consciousness. I remember reading an interview with Maynard from Tool somewhere many years ago where he said something about people should take the experience of mind altering drugs, hold onto that feeling so that they can come back to that place without have to continue use.
While I agree and have accomplished such, I'd rather have my state of consciousness altered at least for sometime. Ha.
I always sign on with the intention of writing some great blog and end up having my original train of thought derailed past the point of fuck it. Which is where I am right now. I do have some photos to post, some events to describe but for now. I am going to do some reading or meandering about.
Till then, Farewell and may the force be with you.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
druggist:
Thank you, it's nice to have a hand reach out for support. Life just sucks sometimes and I wish I knew whether me beginning to accept where I am right now is settling or learning how to be happy
rexx:
it's all happening 
people seem to be doing the sober thing a lot. my roommates have each done it for a month, one by one. i don't drink very often anymore but i do enjoy my tasty brown waters and will not deny myself such when i do want it. but my i'm glad i don't drink like i used to. i'm so glad you continued being my friend after our first hang out where i was a total sloshy mess. i don't know what i would do if you hadn't. your blog was great. i don't know what youre talking about. its epic in its own right. i hope to see you next weekend. we are long overdue. i miss you. i miss your couch. i miss the white rose. the end.
people seem to be doing the sober thing a lot. my roommates have each done it for a month, one by one. i don't drink very often anymore but i do enjoy my tasty brown waters and will not deny myself such when i do want it. but my i'm glad i don't drink like i used to. i'm so glad you continued being my friend after our first hang out where i was a total sloshy mess. i don't know what i would do if you hadn't. your blog was great. i don't know what youre talking about. its epic in its own right. i hope to see you next weekend. we are long overdue. i miss you. i miss your couch. i miss the white rose. the end.