I feel bigger on the inside today. Like I could explode out of myself. I feel like there is so much I can do so much I can give and I just...feel so much that it can't possibly be kept contained inside of me. I think it's a feeling that I like. I feel like I have potential, like I can make something of myself, but at the same time I am so tied up and confused because I don't know how too. My emotions are all over the place, but I think that is because my hormones are still sorting themselves out after the miscarriage. Most of the time I can't decide if I am ecstatic and happy because I have so much and the world is mine, or if I'm low and heavy hearted and depressed because I've lost my little angel.
I go back to work on Wednesday and I'm fairly sure getting back to the 9-5 slog will knock all of this out of me...I wont have time to think or to feel and I'll be so exhausted when I'm home to make something of myself. I wish I could put it off.
Anyway...it is a beautiful day today, the boys are upstairs recording at the moment so I'm going to set the BBQ up as a reward for all their hard work xx