A resent group post made me think about my crossdressing. I started like most people by putting on my mothers panties and bras. The first couple of time that I did this I got a real sexual thrill. I was still pretty young, I cannot remember when I first tried this, so I had no clue what to do with myself. I thought it was not "normal" and as I got older I no longer fit in my moms cloths so I stopped. Fast forward to about 4 years ago and I am watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and I remembered how I felt putting on woman's cloths. I pulled up the website and looked at what they had to offer. I started to place an order like 4 times before I finally went through with it. I had never felt so nervous alone in my apartment before. The next few days whenever I thought about my order I would get a mixture of excitement and nervous. I started checking my mail daily 3 days before they were suppose to arrive. The day they came in the mail I rushed back to my apartment and striped off my cloths. I was already hard before I even made it in the door. Pulling on my own panties for the first time just felt right. If I remember right I bought 3 panties and then a couple weeks later I ordered 5 more. I bought all different styles. I favorites were thongs, boy shorts and the standard bikini. Around this timeI started a second FaceBook page to help me with a couple of games but I decided to make it my crossdressing page. I met other people that are also corssdressers and I started messaging with them. I was wanting to branch out into other clothing but I am a big guy so I had a hard time finding cloths that I thought would fit. One FB friend let me know about Lane Bryant because he had the same problem finding cloths that fit. Again I felt the exciting nervousness when I orders cloths online. I ordered a skirt, a dress, a cammi top and so heels. Again when the cloths came in and I tired them on I loved the way they felt. I have ordered more cloths online and I even once bought cloths in a Target (on my way home form vacation in a town miles away from anyone I know) and here I am now, writing this in my SG lounge pants, I even wore my SG panties under my male cloths to the Blackheart show. No one outside of social media sites knows about my dressing up and I don't know if I could ever let my friends and family know (not that they would not understand but I just can't see myself letting people know). I do like the fact that I can talk about it here and on FB and maybe one day I will let others know. I just hope that I meet someone that understands and will at least indulge me in my dressing up and hopefully someone that will help me find a style that fits me (and maybe a little makeup help).
meosne:
I know exactly what you are talking about and how you feel. I hope you can find someone that enjoys and encourages your indulgence.