even after these many years, things consistantly shift and change in unusual ways...
not always good nor bad, but being just kinda offkilter is the norm
It's not always easy to explain how it's odd or off or strange or [place adjective here]
but the feeling seldom fades, sometimes even others latch onto it, often not
things were oft chaotic in my 20s and early 30s, sometimes in the greatest ways, sometimes not so much
catastrophies survived and surpassed, while weirdly relatively 'normal' things tended to blow up or break down
it still makes me smile and laugh a bit remembering how the (now) ex-wife described it when she figured it out :
"when it comes to [me], the least likely thing to happen probably will"
'course, in many ways she was very correct...
neither of us should've been able to have kids - we have two daughters that lived ( technically they'd both be the "middle kids" )
I've survived various accidents and assaults that I shouldn't have... and, no, I don't consider that being "lucky" - if I was lucky, I would never have been in those situations !
hells, healthwise alone I should never have lived this long - not only did I ignore the doctor's advice entirely, I threw out the meds I was on and haven't been to a doctor since ( other than ER or UC visits )
what people thought of as the "right" people in my life turned out to be the most dangerous and damaging
what people thought of as the "worst" people in my life became the ones who mattered most and the only ones I could trust
aye, a lot of it stems from my will alone... it's one of the few strengths I have, my willpower - otherwise I'm certain the pain I endure daily alone would've shut me down by now
I'm not physically strong, nor mentally that smart, and the skills I have I still firmly believe ANYone would be capable of - and probably better - if they actually tried
nor do I rely upon the 'crutches' I see far too many clutch to: I'm not religious, I very seldom drink anymore, I avoid drugs like they're the plague ( even headdrugs for headaches, etc )...
hells, the one person in my life I did turn to for advice died in '01, I seldom see friends in RL and most I wouldn't talk about personal issues anyways, I definitely wouldn't let relatives know what's up in my life...
seriously, most relatives - particularly the immediate ones - I wouldn't trust in my home without supervision, let alone to advise me on even how to open a bag of chips ( the last one I trusted died in '01 )
I never want my daughters to have to face ANYthing close to what I've had to face...
BUT I want them to be strong enough to face whatever may come if it does
...if that sounds hypocritical, so be it, but I want them to be protected AND capable
eh, as usual this posting has become kind of rambling bits and incoherent smatterings... what a "shocker," neh? //sarcasm//
who knows - maybe I kinda got what I intended across, maybe I didn't... as usual I've forgotten the initial intent, assuming I even had one
at any rate, stay strong, my lovelies and gentlefolk, until the next bits and smatterings I may throw your direction :)
a bevy of insolent and inane twits ::
10/8 :
I've never lived this long in any one place... it's a weirdly strange feeling I'm still getting used to, that sometimes catches me offguard
10/9 :
been lazy this AM - slept in until 6:15, JUST got showered/dressed, stacks of laundry to put away, and don't feel like doin' a demn thing
10/9 II :
yeesh... as soon as N0bama2.0/Hillary started speaking you could feel the tide of bullshit, as she started praising N0bamacare, off it went
10/10 :
finding out the dude-chick's name rhymes with "boob" + "lay" and not "bubble" won't make me mock him less... it's likely I'll mock more !
10/11 :
reminder: this weekend begins pheasant season, NOT peasant season - much as we'd love to hunt the ignorant and rude, it's still illegal!
10/11 II :
moronic humans... while out today several people have had their Trump signs completely stolen or vandalized - very mature, bloody asshats !
10/11 III :
"if you don't have anything nice to say, say it in polish" ...to a co-worker after teaching her some polish swears she'll never remember :)
10/13 :
sometimes you have to consider the unusual to counter the absurd, even if it's a return to the unlikely, but only in form and not function
10/14 :
in the Paranoia world, my colourblindness would undoubtedly put me at a distinct disadvantage - and be mistaken for mutation or communism !
10/15 :
birds playin' on the deck while my youngest reads and we're waitin' for my eldest to come back from the clinic ( possible strep :( )
10/17 :
tomorrow would've been my sister's 50th birthday... hopefully it'll be no more than lingering in the back of my mind, but guess we'll see
10/18 :
"what reasons could you possible have for even thinking of voting for [Trump]?" Two very big ones : N0bama & Hillary/N0bama2.0
10/19 :
In the "On The Phone Or Off Their Meds" Game, had a definite Off Their Meds winner outside the apts - at first thought she was on her phone
10/19 II :
if you feel I will fit well within the confines of your definition of reality and morality, I'm afraid I'm going to more than disappoint...
This Week's Random Playlist ::
Scissor Sisters - Scissor Sisters [entire album]
Hollywood Vampires - Hollywood Vampires [entire album]
watched recently :
via netflix/hulu/amazon:
Luke Cage (1st Season)
Space: Above And Beyond (1st/Only Season)
Lucifer (2nd Season)
Agents Of SHIELD (4th Season)
Dark Matter (2nd Season)
The Neon Demon
Drillbit Taylor: Budget Bodyguard
ownedflix:
Final Destination
Final Destination 2
Final Destination 3
The Final Destination
Final Destination 5
Ghostbusters (2016)
Purple Rain
Jawbreaker
Roger Corman's Humanoids From The Deep (aka Monster)
Roger Corman's Galaxy Of Terror (aka Mind Warp: An Infinity Of Terror)
Eureka (2nd Season)
Disney's Maleficent
The Princess Bride
Disney's Tinkerbell
Extraterrestrial
Tales From The Darkside (1st Season)
Roger Corman's Forbidden World
Charles Band's Petrified
-thom Wolfox sR Rhose
unusualist - I have yet to find a religion and/or spirituality that fits my own personal beliefs... other than, of course, the fact I am a (fallen) god.