ok still no pictures of anything, soon maybe? i don't know.
rant.
life has been ok recently, not great, but not bad. i have been tired as fuck though. literally and figuratively and pretty much of everything. very little surprises me anymore. I STILL should go out and meet new people. the band is good for that, but im still having problems making friends. sometimes it feels as if the world is constantly extending its hand out to me and i go in for the reach but pull back at the last second. i don't know why though.. the paranoid, neurotic side to me is also starting to believe that my old friends are getting tired of me.
does anyone ever feel too lucky? it bothers me sometimes. i feel like i hardly deserve anything for what i put out there. but who knows, im thinking this now as i type and im almost 100% sure that tomorrow i will probably feel better (looking back on that sentence, that probably doesn't look too reassuring..) I want to blame it on that since living on my own, as much as i really do enjoy it, im ultimately a people person. Ive been surrounded by friends, family, even strangers ( i grew up in a small town), and thats what i need to get these depressing feelings off my chest.
what i really want to post up is some of my collage video work, i need to do that soon....ive got one class tomorrow and im free for the rest of the day. practice at 7 and then i suppose well see whats in store for the weekend, i want to plan another escape somewhere....i hate that im beginning to call my road trips escapes....but anyways, im off to have some wine, and then bed.
over and out.
x
!
rant.
life has been ok recently, not great, but not bad. i have been tired as fuck though. literally and figuratively and pretty much of everything. very little surprises me anymore. I STILL should go out and meet new people. the band is good for that, but im still having problems making friends. sometimes it feels as if the world is constantly extending its hand out to me and i go in for the reach but pull back at the last second. i don't know why though.. the paranoid, neurotic side to me is also starting to believe that my old friends are getting tired of me.
does anyone ever feel too lucky? it bothers me sometimes. i feel like i hardly deserve anything for what i put out there. but who knows, im thinking this now as i type and im almost 100% sure that tomorrow i will probably feel better (looking back on that sentence, that probably doesn't look too reassuring..) I want to blame it on that since living on my own, as much as i really do enjoy it, im ultimately a people person. Ive been surrounded by friends, family, even strangers ( i grew up in a small town), and thats what i need to get these depressing feelings off my chest.
what i really want to post up is some of my collage video work, i need to do that soon....ive got one class tomorrow and im free for the rest of the day. practice at 7 and then i suppose well see whats in store for the weekend, i want to plan another escape somewhere....i hate that im beginning to call my road trips escapes....but anyways, im off to have some wine, and then bed.
over and out.
x
!
I always feel too lucky. I'm looking at it now as the way fate is setting up my future and molding me into what I need to be.
All these thoughts that you have now may seem like a bummer. But they will ultimately create a new part of you that you will be proud of.
Keep that mind working.
Love Ya, Brother.