Let’s open this one bluntly shall we. I’ve had sex at work at multiple jobs. Now I’m not saying this to brag because it is not one should really brag about. It more shows that I’m so desperate to get laid that I’ll have sex just about anywhere.
The reason for this being that I went to a small school in which I was mostly ignored by attractive women unless they needed help with their English homework. The reason for this being that when you’re even somewhat attractive in a dating pool of about 50 people you can have your pick of the litter. Believe you me the guy sitting in the English department playing Dungeons and Dragons and listening to Led Zeppelin is not a part of that litter.
What this led me to believe is that I would never have sex or that if I did it would be fleeting and never happen again because eventually the girl would come to her senses. Even through college when I found out many women find books sexy I still did not believe that I would ever continue to have sex. That just one day POOF all the women who find books sexy will be gone.
And for those of you nerd kids reading this thinking that I’m lying about girls finding books sexy I have a quick side story. I once knew a girl who would play a recording of Allen Ginsberg reading “Howl” while her lover was going down on her because the rhythm and meeter of his poem gave her the best orgasms she has ever had. I think it is safe to say after that my point has been proven.
ANYWAY, lets get back on track.
So this led me to say yes to things that normal people shouldn’t. Your answer to, “I want you to fuck me in this department store clothing rack while I scream my father’s name” should be NO and not “Ok, but can we do it in the men’s clothing section because I think they would be more understanding to the situation.”
This attitude led me to having sex in the back room of many of my places of employment.
However what I didn’t know is what this is something everyone does on a day to day basis.
A friend of mine who works at JCP has walked in on people multiple times having sex in the back room and as it turns out his boss has too. The odd thing is that his boss turns a blind eye to it because she figures it’s good for sales. After all a happy employee is more likely to help people on the floor and make sales and after sex is probably when people are at their best. Besides catching them a writing them up wouldn’t stop them so why not use it to your advantage? Right?
So remember that when an employee walks out of a back room with a smile on his face ready to help you they’ve probably just gotten laid and they are the best people to help.
Just avoid the frustrated girl following him out and don’t purchase anything with a weird stain on it no matter how low they mark it down
