ok, so wtf am I doing. God only knows. So here's my current life in a nutshell. I'm in love...she doesn't know if she loves me back anymore after 3 years. There's another guy...long story though. Things are never what they seem so even after being in the midst of it all, just gotta remind myself I don't know the whole story. Pluh.
Got my foot in the door in an industry I truly believe in. I currently help build roller-coasters. My job is the safety systems of them...yeah some of you may have trusted your life in my hands and never even knew it. Wow, not like there's any pressure in my life or anything. Of course that also makes this romance side of my life fun too...I know I need someone who also believes in it. I found her and I know she's right....but see above. Getting better and better.
I also after working on it for years, talked them into letting me be portable. I can now work from anywhere! So, ready to move and was going to...but got a wrench thrown into that one.
I've got friends...they've got their own 'sues. Councellor time. And family...ugh. Sure everyone has problems there. Actually on the surface some might call me a whiner, but its that subtle stuff that makes it the worst. 31 years, and they have yet to figure out I am so radically different that I'm not sure I can really talk to them much anymore. More pluh.
Job is good...well has improved. Struggled with it for ages. The moving thing being a big one...my old boss turning out to be the biggest dick on the face of the earth (and no, sorry to disappoint...NOT in the good way) and some betrayal over that (ok a lot) and finally got to an understanding there. Finally accomplished my goals. Feels like a hollow victory esp looking at everything else falling apart. Fun too that as much as I love what I do, still not sure that is where I should eventually be. I can see myself in a park....a very specific park actually. Problem is the job I should do there may not yet exist. Other problem is its tied in with said issue one...the girl I love.
So for those of you that have made it this far, the scorecard is fun to read. Job got better which caused so many problems with rest of life. So of course rest of life decided it has to get worse. Damn frickin life. Thank god I have one hell of a sense of humor.
No, my life isn't as bad as some. Its stable and for someone other than me, it could be that perfect life to love out happily in.
Problem is its not me. I don't settle. I'm not normal...I only look that way, and less and less so everyday. I want more, and I will fight for it. So anyway, hi! That's me at the moment in a nutshell.
Got my foot in the door in an industry I truly believe in. I currently help build roller-coasters. My job is the safety systems of them...yeah some of you may have trusted your life in my hands and never even knew it. Wow, not like there's any pressure in my life or anything. Of course that also makes this romance side of my life fun too...I know I need someone who also believes in it. I found her and I know she's right....but see above. Getting better and better.
I also after working on it for years, talked them into letting me be portable. I can now work from anywhere! So, ready to move and was going to...but got a wrench thrown into that one.
I've got friends...they've got their own 'sues. Councellor time. And family...ugh. Sure everyone has problems there. Actually on the surface some might call me a whiner, but its that subtle stuff that makes it the worst. 31 years, and they have yet to figure out I am so radically different that I'm not sure I can really talk to them much anymore. More pluh.
Job is good...well has improved. Struggled with it for ages. The moving thing being a big one...my old boss turning out to be the biggest dick on the face of the earth (and no, sorry to disappoint...NOT in the good way) and some betrayal over that (ok a lot) and finally got to an understanding there. Finally accomplished my goals. Feels like a hollow victory esp looking at everything else falling apart. Fun too that as much as I love what I do, still not sure that is where I should eventually be. I can see myself in a park....a very specific park actually. Problem is the job I should do there may not yet exist. Other problem is its tied in with said issue one...the girl I love.
So for those of you that have made it this far, the scorecard is fun to read. Job got better which caused so many problems with rest of life. So of course rest of life decided it has to get worse. Damn frickin life. Thank god I have one hell of a sense of humor.
No, my life isn't as bad as some. Its stable and for someone other than me, it could be that perfect life to love out happily in.
Problem is its not me. I don't settle. I'm not normal...I only look that way, and less and less so everyday. I want more, and I will fight for it. So anyway, hi! That's me at the moment in a nutshell.