Please let this be as good as the trailer makes out it will be.
Bruce Campbell playing himself fighting a monster. Thats taking Don Simpsons theory of "high concept" to levels I doubt even in his coked up prime he couldn't of dreamed of. If it's shit it will be the greatest waste of a fantastic idea. Even worse than George Lucas deciding to make more Star Wars movies (argue all you like, Episodes 1 to 3 are fucking awful).
The universe has thrown a challenge at me the likes I have never seen, Something so unique that my mind is cowering in a corner begging me not to ask for its counsel. There's this girl and she's making highly unsubtle hints that she likes me. Hints on par with running around my house carrying a neon sign that says "I Fancy Geoff" while shooting off the best fireworks money can buy.
But I don't fancy her.
At all.
its not because she could be mistaken for a man, shes a nice looking girl. Or that she's unpleasant. Unfortunately I'm more picky than someone with my face should be. I might be shooting myself in foot, but if I can't picture myself swooning at just how beautiful my girlfriend is I'm not interested. (To clarify I mean beautiful to me, balls to what anyone else thinks). Shallow? Perhaps, but fuck it thats how my brain works. Maybe that'll lead me to a life of terrible lonilness. Maybe not.
Or is all that terribly selfish nonsense?
Whichever it is my instincts tell me I'm about to let someone down. I could just tell her what I've written here. Or I could lie.
Being the imaginative person I am I've already started formualting untruths (hate me all you like) to put her off. Such as:
- I like drowning kittens
- I'm allergic to affection.
- My last girlfriend is currently under 24 hour police protection
- I think the KKK are misunderstood.
- The current age of consent is way to high.
- If the Koran says beating women is ok then its ok with me.
And other things that are in terrible bad taste. And which would lead me to be branded a "fucking asshole" by everyone i know. And which comply to the sitcom rules which state the easiest route to anything must be avoided in order to create an ever more difficult dilemmas for the protangonist to struggle through.
Basically that means i'm thinking like someone who's writting a bad episode of "Friends"
Fucking hell, theres something wrong with me.
Anyways (yes i know thats a made up word, but I have an English degree and that means i can make up words. So there) today I nearly talked to the girl I actually like. Yeah!
In no way is that totally pathetic. At all.
I've been reading Richard Dawkins "The God Delusion", its fucking great, But at the same time fucking depressing. I'm not a religous person, but i can see how it helps. It hurts my head to think we are living on an insignificant rock in a collection of other rocks we call the Milky Way, And thats just one of countless millions of galaxys that exist in a space so big it may as well be infinite.
My actions will not be noticed.
So I should probably just ask that girl out. Cos if even if nothing i do matters I should at least have some fun.
Bruce Campbell playing himself fighting a monster. Thats taking Don Simpsons theory of "high concept" to levels I doubt even in his coked up prime he couldn't of dreamed of. If it's shit it will be the greatest waste of a fantastic idea. Even worse than George Lucas deciding to make more Star Wars movies (argue all you like, Episodes 1 to 3 are fucking awful).
The universe has thrown a challenge at me the likes I have never seen, Something so unique that my mind is cowering in a corner begging me not to ask for its counsel. There's this girl and she's making highly unsubtle hints that she likes me. Hints on par with running around my house carrying a neon sign that says "I Fancy Geoff" while shooting off the best fireworks money can buy.
But I don't fancy her.
At all.
its not because she could be mistaken for a man, shes a nice looking girl. Or that she's unpleasant. Unfortunately I'm more picky than someone with my face should be. I might be shooting myself in foot, but if I can't picture myself swooning at just how beautiful my girlfriend is I'm not interested. (To clarify I mean beautiful to me, balls to what anyone else thinks). Shallow? Perhaps, but fuck it thats how my brain works. Maybe that'll lead me to a life of terrible lonilness. Maybe not.
Or is all that terribly selfish nonsense?
Whichever it is my instincts tell me I'm about to let someone down. I could just tell her what I've written here. Or I could lie.
Being the imaginative person I am I've already started formualting untruths (hate me all you like) to put her off. Such as:
- I like drowning kittens
- I'm allergic to affection.
- My last girlfriend is currently under 24 hour police protection
- I think the KKK are misunderstood.
- The current age of consent is way to high.
- If the Koran says beating women is ok then its ok with me.
And other things that are in terrible bad taste. And which would lead me to be branded a "fucking asshole" by everyone i know. And which comply to the sitcom rules which state the easiest route to anything must be avoided in order to create an ever more difficult dilemmas for the protangonist to struggle through.
Basically that means i'm thinking like someone who's writting a bad episode of "Friends"
Fucking hell, theres something wrong with me.
Anyways (yes i know thats a made up word, but I have an English degree and that means i can make up words. So there) today I nearly talked to the girl I actually like. Yeah!
In no way is that totally pathetic. At all.
I've been reading Richard Dawkins "The God Delusion", its fucking great, But at the same time fucking depressing. I'm not a religous person, but i can see how it helps. It hurts my head to think we are living on an insignificant rock in a collection of other rocks we call the Milky Way, And thats just one of countless millions of galaxys that exist in a space so big it may as well be infinite.
My actions will not be noticed.
So I should probably just ask that girl out. Cos if even if nothing i do matters I should at least have some fun.
mistress_paine:
ok girl no1, don't give poncey excuses, it earns you no respect! girl no 2 ask out already! 