walkingman

Monday was supposed to be a fun day. My youngest son and I were scheduled to attend a week long parent/child camping trip which held the promise of lots of fun and adventures. We arrived at the departure area and boarded the bus for our long drive to the woods. It was a long and dusty drive along a bumpy dirt road made all the more adventurous by the lack of suspension and air conditioning in the bus. We arrived shortly after noon and were quite happy to stand up and stretch our weary bones and drink some nice cold well water. Lunch was soon served and sleeping cabins assigned. We unloaded our stuff and headed off to join our assigned group. Activities began and we were having some really great fun. Then one of the camp counselors came over and told me that there was a telephone call for me at the main cabin. I did not know who was calling but knew it must be an emergency for them to be calling me here. I ran to the main cabin and picked up the receiver. I heard my wifes voice and could tell that she was crying and was very emotional. I said hello and sounds came over the phone but I did not recognize any of them as words. I told her to slow down and tell me what was wrong. She then told me that my brother had called to tell us that his oldest son had passed away that afternoon in the hospital. I was stunned and had to grab the table to keep from falling over. This young healthy kid that I had just seen the week before was now dead? How? It seems he went out partying with some friends and mixed alcohol with some drugs and ended up in the hospital emergency room the next morning. He was unresponsive for the most part and the doctors could not revive him. My son worshipped the ground his cool cousin walked on. This was his older cool cousin who could drive a car, listened to the coolest music, knew how to dance, and was willing to teach him how to bust a move or how to beat the latest video game, or how to fix his hair and wear his clothes to attract the babes. When I got back to the group I pulled my son aside and broke the news to him. He just stared at me and the tears just rolled down his face. I pulled him to my chest and just hugged him. He also asked why and I had no answers for him. The camp people were great and let us just sit down by the lake and cry. They brought us dinner on paper plates and we ate and talked. I asked him if we wanted to stay or leave. He said that he wanted to go join the group for the evenings activities. The camp arranged for us to have a single cabin for the evening so we could cry without bothering anyone else. The next morning we finished most of the big activities with the help of the counselors and caught a ride with one of the counselors back to our car. Once we got home there were so many phone calls to family and friends. They are having the body cremated and then holding a wake and memorial service next week. We stopped by my brothers house and it was so eerie to see my nephews car parked in the drive and to know that he will never drive it again. He spent so much time and effort fixing it up and there it sits alone. My youngest ran up and just hugged its bumper. We went into the house and the boys saw his bedroom door closed. The family cannot stand walking by and looking in at the mess that lovingly was his room. My sons always went inside and played in his room whether he was there or not. It took lots of effort to keep them out. My brother and sister-in-law look so much older and just have such blank looks in their faces with dull lifeless eyes. This semester instead of paying his tuition and room and board they are using the money to pay for his cremation, urn and plot at the local cemetery. Sometimes life sure sucks and this is one of those times. A promising life cut short by booze and the wrong mix of drugs. How I fucking hate drinking and drugs right now! R.I.P. nephew!