voldenae

Thats right. My best friend, whom I had not seen in 11 years cam into town earlier this week, and he and I had the best time. We did what all best friends do; eat tons, go to the movies, play video games, get drunk, fool around (okay maybe best friends aren't supposed to do that part), and just in general had a wonderful time.
We relaxed a lot since both of us had been going non-stop before he got here.
But now that he's gone I am so incredibly upset it's unreal.

I knew I had a crush on him. I mean he moved away when we were turning 11, and even though we never kept in touch, I would always think back to him, and wonder what would have happened had he stayed here.
I never forgot him, which is unusual for me since I am so terrible ADD.
When I found him on myspace (of all places right?) over the summer, the two of us were beyond ecstatic to find each other and shortly there after began planning his trip up here.

But this crush built all the while I was waiting for his visit. I thought having him here would lessen this girly crush I had, that I may get a kiss out of the visit and be done.
But no, I got a lot more than a kiss, and I swear from that moment on I was gone.
I don't know how or why, but every time I think about him or the time he was here I smile so big, and as soon as I think about him being back in Florida, I start to tear up and cry. And just a well known fact, it takes an act of congress for me to cry. I don't cry over anything, in fact the last time I did cry was when my dog as put down.
But thinking about him being gone bothers me so much that it actually begins to hurt physically. I mean I know thats just me thinking it does, and since I know that fact I;ve never felt that way before...until now...
I don't get it.
I mean I thought I was involved with a guy here, and I've never gone from guy to guy, but as soon as he was here, no one else mattered one bit...

What does this mean? I mean I've had puppy love before...but I seriously think I could settle with this guy one day...which is psycho because I don't feel like I can settle...but maybe thats it, with him it wouldn't be settling, it would still be an adventure and fun.

I don't know. I need advice. I feel so much right now that it warps all else in it's path. I've been playing World of Warcraft to distract myself, and I look forward to work for the distraction it provides in my day, because it upsets me too much to not have him here.
I don'teven know how he feels about me, our physical attraction was pretty mutual, and when we talk we always seem to be on the same level.
But I have no idea.
What I'm thinking of doing is waiting to see if and when we want to get together again, because I may go to FL to see him next and see where that takes us, and maybe breach the topic then once we've seen more of each other.

I never do anything but smile around him


goofy, but smiles all around still


things like this are what make us best friends


apparently he's James Bond


scaryness


we got the looks confused


thinking hard...sorta


apparently my glares don't intimidate him


he's all up on my bed playing WoW (and yes I have Transformers sheets)


Us with his Aunt and her and her husbands kids for dinner one night...we're all behaving for once.