vervain______

my husband sucks. i guess that's why we're getting a divorce. my real mother's day gift is on thurs. this coming week, when i go to a divorce mediator. it is scary, as i have been a stay at home mom being supported by him since my son's birth. i will have to come up with a plan and i will do whatever it takes to raise my baby as well as i can. today was so frusterating. i wasn't even wished a happy mother's day by my husband verbally. after checking my little page on suicide girls, there was a happy mother's day greeting. thanks. so much. later, many hours after being awake he finally wished me one, with his own lips. after that and an excrutiating nap time, in which my son, overtired from being kept up at mother's day brunch, punches and kicks me as i try to nurse him to sleep (as i think it is a more gentle approach, since birth, from the cry it out method) i wake to find that my husband's friend is coming over to play an obnoxious 3 hours of a video game. i was then told i already knew this, as we already talked about it (?) i must have forgotton. plus the kitchen still looks like caca because it appears it is only my responsibility to clean it even though i make dinners to feed all of us. so, to recap, i don't even get a simple happy mother's day except on sg, i get no card. nothing. i don't even get peace and quiet at night because my husband invited his friend over to play halo. i get no "me" time (really all i wanted) as i have to actually leave the apartment with our son so they can play their little game (i don't want him to see the violence) and i also have to return to put him to bed. i also broke our kitchen window with an empty tin can after getting frusterated and throwing it (bad aim, i tell you). sorry, this is a complete bitch session, but the reason leads back to my opening statment. my husband is no husband at all and i guess i'm not that good of a partner either.