So again, I haven't posted in a while. To be honest, I really haven't been on the site much at all. I've sort of let the day to day of life take over and haven't been doing much useful with my time. Right now it is pretty much a pattern of waking up, going to work, and either going out after or laying in bed reading, then just repeating the next day. It doesn't really feel like much in the way of fulfillment.
I guess right now I am just waiting on doing anything worthwhile until I have my own place, which will be in a couple of months. But I really don't like operating like that. I'm tired of having my whole life on hold due to this divorce process. It feels like being in limbo, like waiting for the unknown, and that's not how I like to live my life. I'm tired of putting everything on the back burner. I'm tired of not doing what I want to, making new friends, bettering myself. I'm tired of jerking off to the same crap every night. I'm tired of not expanding my artistic horizons. And I'm tired of trying to find excuses when, in the end, the reason is me.
I've made a decision over the last couple of days to stop putting my life on hold, waiting for all of this to be over. It's not healthy. My ex is doing plenty to find her own life, and I need to stop waiting to start living mine. Even if it's something as little as working out every day, it's still something that I've been putting off. So I'm going to stop isolating myself, I'm going to stop finding excuses to not do things. I need to cut back on drinking, and I need to get myself back off smokes (again) so that I can save my money for something more worthwhile.
I know this ended up being a little bit of a self-empowerment blog, but you know what, I dont really care. I've had one of those epiphanies where I'm sick of the course i've set myself upon, and it's time to do something about it. To quote Cameron Frye: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.
I guess right now I am just waiting on doing anything worthwhile until I have my own place, which will be in a couple of months. But I really don't like operating like that. I'm tired of having my whole life on hold due to this divorce process. It feels like being in limbo, like waiting for the unknown, and that's not how I like to live my life. I'm tired of putting everything on the back burner. I'm tired of not doing what I want to, making new friends, bettering myself. I'm tired of jerking off to the same crap every night. I'm tired of not expanding my artistic horizons. And I'm tired of trying to find excuses when, in the end, the reason is me.
I've made a decision over the last couple of days to stop putting my life on hold, waiting for all of this to be over. It's not healthy. My ex is doing plenty to find her own life, and I need to stop waiting to start living mine. Even if it's something as little as working out every day, it's still something that I've been putting off. So I'm going to stop isolating myself, I'm going to stop finding excuses to not do things. I need to cut back on drinking, and I need to get myself back off smokes (again) so that I can save my money for something more worthwhile.
I know this ended up being a little bit of a self-empowerment blog, but you know what, I dont really care. I've had one of those epiphanies where I'm sick of the course i've set myself upon, and it's time to do something about it. To quote Cameron Frye: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.
Anyway give me some ideas so I can draw up something for you, I need something to draw to help calm me!