vacio

Your terminology suggests an observer rather than a participant. Perception and reality intertwine in interesting ways but ultimately you pay the price of further harm to your health in the tangible, physical world irrespective of how you might conceptualize your situation.

Other people have the power to say or do whatever they will and some of those things have to hurt initially. However, only you have the power to decide what you will do in response and how you follow that up. It's never too soon or too late to go after the life you want rather than reacting to external disappointments and betrayals. The past will not disappear but you are the one shaping your present and future. I know how hard it is, believe me. ♥

Just wanted to say I agree wholeheartedly with Jozsef's eloquent words. Joy and pain are both natural parts of life. The only way to escape either of them is to make oneself dead to the world, but that strategy really makes life a pointless exercise. What determines whether I will be a happy person who leads a fruitful life is the relative weight I give positive and negative experiences - joy and sadness.

It is within your power to choose happiness over sadness and despair, because happiness is NOT dependent on fortunate turns of events. It's available to anyone who chooses to shift their focus more toward the light, and less toward the dark. Our bodies can withstand a lot of abuse, but there is a limit. I very much hope you can find your way to make that shift in focus before it's too late.