OK kiddo time for a reality check - I know a leetle bit about nutrition, and if you're a personal trainer what do the calipers say?

What can I do to help you?

Calipers - to do pinch measurements to estimate body fat....

So you KNOW that's what a male fighter who has cut to make weight might have....right?


So again...what can be done to help you?

I know...I'm just worried about you...makes me sad.

My dear friend, do you remember last summer I explained that what we see and hear is a function of what we believe is real and that anyone can see an elephant sized person in the mirror just before they die of starvation? In my experience, education is the most transformative thing we can engage in. Your brain is not defective, but a belief is all it takes to see what is not an accurate representation of reality, and do remember that it also happened to me, so it's not a character flaw or human failing that I'm rubbing your nose in, but a normal event that happens to all of us in many areas of life. Your manifestation is, unfortunately, dangerous. I readjusted my perceptions by measuring myself and researching how big other people are.

If you truly couldn't cope with anorexia then you would still be dealing with OCD as well, (and similarly, so would I!) You have to decide: do you obey the feeling that you can't or mustn't eat, or do you act on your knowledge of what the end game of a caloric and nutritional deficit is? If you re-examine the belief that numbness though pain is your only way to cope with hurt, then you may conclude that other options exist. (Your therapist will know these.) New information and skills give us more choices.

Do you realize that I never exaggerate how much I care about you and love you? Knowing you has been a wonderful blessing and a gift that I don't want to end. I can easily illustrate why you're one of strongest people I know, in contrast to your own sense of yourself, I'm sure, but I shouldn't let this get too long. (I'll do anything you like, as you must know.)

I'm concerned as well. Hope you can find your way through this issue to a healthy diet.

Please eat something. I mean that in the least offensive and most concerned way. I hope you can work through what ever you're going through.

darling, you are not huge *hugs* but i am worried about you.

This kind of bullshit is why I don't understand this site--they don't zot people for promoting anorexia, but oh god! Get in a "thread war" and your ass is gone.

Go ahead, promote your fucking anorexia. I have no sympathy for those who are so very fucking proud to be sick in the head.

Some people are such cunts. I'm sorry you're having such problems, hon. You really ought to go back in the hospital, though I know that isn't what you want to do.

*hugs* i'm worried about you, i know you're going through a rough patch. I just want you to be happy and healthy. I wish there was more i could do for you.

Honey, at this moment, you will see a huge beast in every picture of yourself, and that's an established fact even though you're a tiny little thing now and I know you know it's true. One day that will be sorted out, but we all suck at really seeing ourselves clearly, so get used to that now. I think I look like shit, but nobody agrees, so they're probably just being nice to me, like you were! I just decided it is what it is and I don't care. We can try to look our best and go on with more important things, because it can never be objectively resolved anyway.

I again can admire your ability to respond to hostility, infantile attacks and ignorance with such clarity and mature strength, much like you did with the tagger who was presumably giggling about a tampon string. Attacking you must be the most disappointing decision a fool or a bully can ever make! Feeling pain and fear isn't weakness, FYI. You may be the strongest person I know because you do so very much under such difficult conditions that I never cease to marvel at your determination.

I have tears of joy now because you ate dinner so I can assume you're a little safer and in less discomfort. Never forget that if you were not pretty and weighed 100 kilos, all of your real friends would love you every bit as much. I certainly would. Also, you always have, and will, look beautiful to me!

I do understand what you mean when you say that you are posting not for attention or promotion., but to help others understand the sickness. Sometimes we know that there is something wrong with us, and we do want people to hear us and hopefully help someone else from feeling that way.

My only hope is that since you realize that there are some issues that you can find help, cause that is always a good start.

If you ever need to talk I'm always around. My ex fiance was bulemarexic and I dealt with that for almost 4 years. Keep your head on and try to stay positive!

You're gracious to credit me when your depth and insight allowed you to comprehend what very few people do; returning hostility or being defensive don't resolve conficts, while simply declaring the truth makes it impossible to launch another attack on you without looking vindictive, foolish and crude, (which still may be some people's preference!)

You did a great thing not deleting the ignorant comment from Kelsie because people can then see how little many know about this issue and how cruel can be the manifestation of that ignorance.

I trust your therapist to point out lots of ways to deal with emotional hurts that don't involve risks of heart attacks and constant pain. Meanwhile, please know that as long as you have to live through this misery, I can certainly stand to be aware of it, no matter what. You don't have to hide things from me, and I'll never get fed up or pissed off and I'll never stop loving you, sweetie.

I love the pictures, especially the nice clear outdoor one!

Hope you are ok sweetie.

I find that my dad has his uses too, that's why I haven't sold him on Ebay. I just hope he feels the same way about me. My judgement, which I'm inclined to trust, tells me they're lucky to have you at the gym, so I hope they have enough sense recognize it. Even though the economy is dissolving before our eyes, I do think that your chances of getting a job are extremely good no matter how many other people apply, should it come to pass that the situation where you are deteriorates enough.

Since you're busy and have a therapist, I don't want to send you any long, complex dissertations, but I do like to know how things are and to remind you of how much I care about you. Let me know when that gets boring and I'll change the subject to whatever you prefer. (I'll still mention it from time to time, though!) Do you anticipate having no internet in that eventuality? I would love it if you would then designate someone to let me know how you're doing because it won't be easy just wondering and hoping, notwithstanding that I have faith in you. It's a Jewish thing; we're bred to worry! BTW, I haven't yet sent you anything because you're already swamped and they just doubled the postage rates, so it makes sense to pack things into fewer parcels. The upshot is that the lion and the rhinocerous will be shipped together. OK, maybe not. Love you, angel