So i says to Mabel, I says, "If Michael Landon was so goddamn holy, why doesn't he show up on any water stains or tortillas?"
Shut that bitch up, but fast.
I liked your editorial entry on the Craigslist guy, though I would have somehow worked the phrase 'I'm OK, You're a GAY" in there. It would have made it lamer, but I can see me doing it.