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Fertility Testing

To keep a long story reasonably short....My wife and I couldn't have kids so we went through all of the typical testing. For me that meant various types of sperm testing which involved.....(insert drum roll)....masturbating in a cup at the fertility clinic. This 'event' has been depicted on countless TV shows and there are plenty of guys who have survived this rather humiliating ordeal. I'm sure we each have our own story, but I want to focus on one, little factor.

Selection of Pornography.

I was escorted to a 'special' little room with my little cup by a pleasant, middle-aged nurse. She, of course, has done this countless times and showed absolutely no signs of discomfort. This included pointing out the rather thick stack of magazines to help 'get into the mood'.

Although it turns out that my little guys were not olympic swimmers (think lazy beach bum types sitting by the pool drinking margaritas), I never had much problem 'getting into the mood'. That was until I wandered through the selection magazines at the clinic.

"Busty Black Mamas" ...... "Roller Derby Vixens".....and on and on and on. Although I have nothing against busty black mamas, I was mesmerized that a mag like this would end up at the clinic!! Was somebody sent out to buy porn and THIS is what they came back with?? Or...even worse...did one of the clinic employees bring it in one day from their private collection. Its not that I'm a porn snob, but I would think that clinics would stick with a more mainstream variety of girly magazines.

I spent a good 20-30 minutes contemplating this until I thought, "SHIT...what do they think I am doing in here???". But, unlike the times when us guys locked ourselves into the bathroom when we were young and exploring, everyone outside the room knew EXACTLY what I was doing.