I was born on February 9th, apparently this is the "Day of Sorrow" marked by lifelong suffering and unyielding strength. I can't claim I'm intentionally stoic, just that you are given choices, one of which is to continue, regardless of the hurt.
Tristan means "Child of Sorrow" RyuSei means "Dragon Energy" or "Power", and Tsuji is "at The Crossroads."
I have never settled in one home, rage internally at the casual apathy and ignorance displayed in the world, marvel at the tiny moments of beauty, like a look from my now departed Bengal Tybalt, or the way a child exudes trust when holding their parents hand. I look at this life and there is so much we overlook, so many minor miracles.
I forgave my mother last year, she reached out after abandoning me at age 6, I looked Tybalt in the eyes as he passed away, 11 years ago I connected with him, another sad eyed runt, already being bullied at 4 weeks old, I was certain he was going to live a happy life. My ex and I loved him, he was the child we never had.
It hurt worse than anything to date seeing him pass from this existence.
I went in for surgery on December 10th, my left eye had become unusable, I looked like Sloth from the goonies....
Then 4 days ago I received a diagnosis of Lymphoma.
I don't know what the future holds, Ill live and refuse to yield for the time I have regardless of Cancer. Hopefully a beautiful silver cat, sad blue eyes will lead me to my grandmother, my friends, my family that have gone before me, if I succumb to the disease. At worst Ill have oblivion, struggles, no more worry, peace.