i just off of work.
i like writing when drunk, tired and not in a great mood.
when i write when feeling good, i sound like a corny motivational speaker who lives by empty affirmations and quotes that are sold on mugs at my store.
humor, i was told from some girl in my french class during high school, is used by the weak. she's probably right. i think about that when allowing this weird sense of negative-rooted righteousness destroy my sense of well-being.
i often times think about forgoing my personality, in lieu of just striving towards happiness. i have this horrible mind-set that legitimizes misery because:
a.) i'm more enjoyable in a comic sense, when cranky, and everyone enjoys a good laugh; b.) somehow i feel like i see through more when bitchy, and thus having no stake in maintaing the status-quo c.) i'm more in tune with what's going on around me in a synoptic type of way when in a bad mood, rather than this self-obsessed ritual that has taken over my brain, ensuring happiness and well-being.
phew.
with that said, let's disucss my co-workers and my job.
Im mainly miserable there, unless making fun of the people with whom i work, in which case that instantaneous gratification of judgmental laughter turns into an absurdist quality that pervades much of my outlook.
the store is called platypus.
i work with one of my best friends, dan.
he's fun. he keeps the mood up. he laughs often and loud. sometimes he's annoying, but overall, he's enjoyable. our jokes get redundant, but it's still better than nothing, or worse yet, much better than talking to my co-workers about sales going on or hot monmouth county, nj trends.
he's more low-brow in his humor tastes (i.e. thinking nicole ritchie is "hilarious"), whereas i'm more highbrow (i.e. thinking she and paris hilton should be murdered on a pay-per view special). but we are both observant, and respect and enjoy each other's quirks.
Sometimes I think hes a horrible person to be so close to, as he actively encourages negativity.
He calls people hot messes (himself included), meaning people are disgusting but striving toward "hottie" status. he acknowledges people's tendency to strive toward that which ups their positive, aesthetic, shallow traits, yet also too doesn't lie about the fact that many of them look and act disgusting.
his self-deprecation can be fun. It gets so stifling though, and I want something more. I sometimes manipulate my personality to appease him, otherwise work gets so boring, but I dont think thats such a great idea. Hes not dependable. I definitely use him as a crutch far too often, and sometimes define myself through my friendship with him, which has in the past, proven to be a horribly unhealthy approach to self-identification.
He makes you feel so great about yourself, especially when exentuating those attributes that you normally try to conceal. He laughs too much, and he makes me feel not funny due to how willing he is to laugh. Hes so cheap about it. Everyone in his book, is funny. Hes like a comic whore in that sense.
sharon, my assistant manager, went to high school a few towns away, lived in the countryside of new jersey (when we still had one), graduated high school, worked, met her husband as a candy stripper, and has been to new york all of 3 times. she laughs often, at nothing in particular. she smokes a large amount of weed, and unknowingly perpetuates the cliche image of weed smokers as easily amused hippies who like to stare at lava lamps and listen to guitar solos. she has that side to her, but also is a grandma, and thus nurturing. she does everything for you while at work, thereby reinforcing my tendency to be lazy.
my boss, richard, is 6'4", and also laughs at fucking everything.
nothing's funny richard. stop fucking laughing.
it's just like this common grounf upon we all can meet, but often times i choose not to partake in it; people who aren't funny, giggling over nothing, due to their inability to be quiet and just let be be. he hates it when me and dan talk. he finds stupid, menial tasks for us to do to seperate us. he wants to be liked though, and when not being a pompous prick (he has an MA in American Studies after all, oh la la), he's relatively nice.
Higher education can give people this sense that they are way more intelligent than they actually are.
Ummm, Debbie is this dyke who is always chipper and happy. I use the word dyke appropriatively. It's the only way to describe her. She ain't no lesbian, and she's not even a bull dyke. She's just a dyke.
She never gets it, the mood (or content for that matter) of the conversation. When people are talking, she has no idea what about, but listens to the tail end of the conversation, and then contributes something positive and agreeable. she pisses me off.
that's enough of that. these people are mainly the types i'd otherwise avoid, but being that we're in close proximity for so long, i can't help but analyze and such.
ummm, everett came into work. he's the type of person who can't help but make it apparent that he's judging you. his eyes don't lie. it's annoying. he said hi, but just got back from rome, and thereby is in the "everyone was just fabulous" mind frame. he was already abiding by the gay male clich of being slightly effeminate, vain, shallow, sex-obsessed and irresponsible before he went there. now he has also seemed to pick up on the whole european superiority as well. we talked, but mainly he wanted to see dan.
tonight is barnacle bill's. i need a nap. i need to start going running and stuff. my legs, face and arms don't get fat, but my stomach is getting chunky. i used to do yoga religiously, was in awesome shape, and had an overall content mind frame. now my back hurts, and i feel like the 45 year old bureaucratic women i see at my job, purchasing frivolous, unnecessary merchandise in order to feel some sort of gratification, if only for an instant.
i need to get back in the groove and swing of things.
i like writing when drunk, tired and not in a great mood.
when i write when feeling good, i sound like a corny motivational speaker who lives by empty affirmations and quotes that are sold on mugs at my store.
humor, i was told from some girl in my french class during high school, is used by the weak. she's probably right. i think about that when allowing this weird sense of negative-rooted righteousness destroy my sense of well-being.
i often times think about forgoing my personality, in lieu of just striving towards happiness. i have this horrible mind-set that legitimizes misery because:
a.) i'm more enjoyable in a comic sense, when cranky, and everyone enjoys a good laugh; b.) somehow i feel like i see through more when bitchy, and thus having no stake in maintaing the status-quo c.) i'm more in tune with what's going on around me in a synoptic type of way when in a bad mood, rather than this self-obsessed ritual that has taken over my brain, ensuring happiness and well-being.
phew.
with that said, let's disucss my co-workers and my job.
Im mainly miserable there, unless making fun of the people with whom i work, in which case that instantaneous gratification of judgmental laughter turns into an absurdist quality that pervades much of my outlook.
the store is called platypus.
i work with one of my best friends, dan.
he's fun. he keeps the mood up. he laughs often and loud. sometimes he's annoying, but overall, he's enjoyable. our jokes get redundant, but it's still better than nothing, or worse yet, much better than talking to my co-workers about sales going on or hot monmouth county, nj trends.
he's more low-brow in his humor tastes (i.e. thinking nicole ritchie is "hilarious"), whereas i'm more highbrow (i.e. thinking she and paris hilton should be murdered on a pay-per view special). but we are both observant, and respect and enjoy each other's quirks.
Sometimes I think hes a horrible person to be so close to, as he actively encourages negativity.
He calls people hot messes (himself included), meaning people are disgusting but striving toward "hottie" status. he acknowledges people's tendency to strive toward that which ups their positive, aesthetic, shallow traits, yet also too doesn't lie about the fact that many of them look and act disgusting.
his self-deprecation can be fun. It gets so stifling though, and I want something more. I sometimes manipulate my personality to appease him, otherwise work gets so boring, but I dont think thats such a great idea. Hes not dependable. I definitely use him as a crutch far too often, and sometimes define myself through my friendship with him, which has in the past, proven to be a horribly unhealthy approach to self-identification.
He makes you feel so great about yourself, especially when exentuating those attributes that you normally try to conceal. He laughs too much, and he makes me feel not funny due to how willing he is to laugh. Hes so cheap about it. Everyone in his book, is funny. Hes like a comic whore in that sense.
sharon, my assistant manager, went to high school a few towns away, lived in the countryside of new jersey (when we still had one), graduated high school, worked, met her husband as a candy stripper, and has been to new york all of 3 times. she laughs often, at nothing in particular. she smokes a large amount of weed, and unknowingly perpetuates the cliche image of weed smokers as easily amused hippies who like to stare at lava lamps and listen to guitar solos. she has that side to her, but also is a grandma, and thus nurturing. she does everything for you while at work, thereby reinforcing my tendency to be lazy.
my boss, richard, is 6'4", and also laughs at fucking everything.
nothing's funny richard. stop fucking laughing.
it's just like this common grounf upon we all can meet, but often times i choose not to partake in it; people who aren't funny, giggling over nothing, due to their inability to be quiet and just let be be. he hates it when me and dan talk. he finds stupid, menial tasks for us to do to seperate us. he wants to be liked though, and when not being a pompous prick (he has an MA in American Studies after all, oh la la), he's relatively nice.
Higher education can give people this sense that they are way more intelligent than they actually are.
Ummm, Debbie is this dyke who is always chipper and happy. I use the word dyke appropriatively. It's the only way to describe her. She ain't no lesbian, and she's not even a bull dyke. She's just a dyke.
She never gets it, the mood (or content for that matter) of the conversation. When people are talking, she has no idea what about, but listens to the tail end of the conversation, and then contributes something positive and agreeable. she pisses me off.
that's enough of that. these people are mainly the types i'd otherwise avoid, but being that we're in close proximity for so long, i can't help but analyze and such.
ummm, everett came into work. he's the type of person who can't help but make it apparent that he's judging you. his eyes don't lie. it's annoying. he said hi, but just got back from rome, and thereby is in the "everyone was just fabulous" mind frame. he was already abiding by the gay male clich of being slightly effeminate, vain, shallow, sex-obsessed and irresponsible before he went there. now he has also seemed to pick up on the whole european superiority as well. we talked, but mainly he wanted to see dan.
tonight is barnacle bill's. i need a nap. i need to start going running and stuff. my legs, face and arms don't get fat, but my stomach is getting chunky. i used to do yoga religiously, was in awesome shape, and had an overall content mind frame. now my back hurts, and i feel like the 45 year old bureaucratic women i see at my job, purchasing frivolous, unnecessary merchandise in order to feel some sort of gratification, if only for an instant.
i need to get back in the groove and swing of things.
mastercraftsman:
*Creepy lurker walks into room, belches loudly* Umm. I like you. The short of it. I read everything. Anyway I thought you might want to chat with someone like ME but oh well. Get in the groove and swing? I'll wait.... 