Again having to backtrack a little, back when I was going through the social system towards the end of the flat party days I ended up in hospital again, while I was there Electric family man, my dad died.
This was kinda a messed up thing to happen and I sorta fell that with all the psychological constructs installed in my head and with going through the system again I found it hard to greave, I just sorta threw myself into the funeral arrangements like I thought he would want me to, I miss him RIP electric family man dad.
My dad and me we're close I'd always find things to chat to him about, and he had worked hard all his life to provide, I guess with starting this story where I did a lot of the family love and things from childhood are missing, but it's amazing how much of it comes back when your parenting your own young.
I guess the things we bonded over most where car's, computers and movies, having the work life he did and being a committed family man, electric family man dads world was his children and family so it kinda hurts that I wasn't around more towards the end but he just up and died out of the blue, he had been on painkillers for years due to an industrial accident he had when I was about 10 but he just eat painkillers and carry on as normal in the end they stopped his heart and I lost him.
Also during my relationship with fluttery princess we lost another comrade, having reappeared on the scene back when I had the Ashton flat, cyber goth bruiser, had been a good friend playing guitar to try and serenade the clubbers as they waited at the taxi rank across the way, and being part of the circles I was moving in at the time it was good to have him about.
When I returned to Manchester and was going through the social system there he was also under the care of the hospital, fluffy princess knew him also as they had been in a relationship some year's before we met probably around the time I was working in Cumbria, whilst going through the system together a remember for a while he was dating a cute hiphop rave girl that we chilled with listening to tunes on a few occasions, and when fluttery princess and I got together he even put on a bit of a spread for us at his flat.
I lost touch with him when I got back into working then one day I heard from druidess tarot girl that he had killed himself. It was a modest funeral put on by the social I went sick with my kempo sticks for a few hour's after incase his soul wanted to visit. RIP comrade cyber goth bruiser.
Also around this time teen nun-chaku was travelling in India again I heard from druidess tarot girl that he had been in a accident and fallen from a balcony and died, I'd only spoken to him online a few months earlier we chatted about things I asked him about the food as fluttery princess and I had been working on our cookery then he said he was off to meet his mate's next I heard he was dead,
The funeral was a brilliant send off, for one so young to die is a shock, there was lot's of love there from all the different circles of his life, druidess tarot girl arranged floating lilly candles and his nun-chaku videos were cheard on a big screen, it was good to catch up with vodka ruckuses younger brother and Xbox head style there and there where a lot of faces there from the rave day's, RIP teen nun-chaku.
Some friends turn out to celebrate fluttery princess birthday, having sort of lost contact with her social circle's I reached out to some friends and they came through for a flat party for her birthday, Country boy and space cadet came through earlier in the night, then druidess tarot girl, Nintendo stylist, also constructed mind rocker stoner from the early jillys which I was quite cruft about. We laid on a buffet, It wasn't the house party's of the old days but I feel some friends really came through for me there.
Also I have to mention that upuntill about six months back I'd only had net access at the local library when I could find the time and only started reconnecting using social networks about three to four years back.
After agonising for a few day's about what might be going on in her social life while I was at work I trusted her that baby was mine and supported her as best I could during the pregnancy.
I still remember little ones first kick, hospital appointments, ultra sound scans, I was kinda amazed how little pregnancy affected fluttery princess physically she just seemed to be able to carry on as normal which was a shock I don't know what I expected and perhaps she would tell it differently but I guess I thought living with a pregnant mum to be would be a lot more stress but things went smoothly and work were great with my rota and things and soon little one was due.
I guess the album that stood out for me at the time was skinny puppy's weapon. In between visiting little one on the hospital ward and wheeling fluttery princess about the hospital due to her recovering from child birth I'd get chance for some tunes and I'd just rediscovered skinny puppy.
Little one holding my finger with his toes, sitting holding fluttery princess hand through giving birth, the minute that took forever waiting to hear little ones first crys. New life and joy of love.
Band lists sourced thanks to Google had also got me listening to artists out of Newyork cash flow being short I was having to source my media with a you tube app. Since funds have started flowing again though I've purchested most of the tunage that I ticked during times of low funds.
In the city at this point the staff team had changed to Indiand grill style, tribal metal Portugal, bulk blond boy, caffeine crazy mad head and young polish, cook skills chef was still about also.
Juggling Moving house a new baby work and relationship problems was getting kinda stressful, I kinda thought that once we where settled in our new home and we had got the place nice things would start falling into place, but I guess the pressure of the last few years had just been to much, fluttery princess and I broke up.
I also left work as dealing with work stress during the breakup of my family could have gone on of two way's and one of them could have caused me real problems down the line.
I still see my son every weekend and am still on good terms with fluttery princess, we came to amicable arrangements over funds, I had to move out which was an emotional roller coaster. Lucky for me I still have family to fall back on so things worked out Ok. The state also sorted me some funds which helped, especially as it ment I could get into a gym routine while I took some time to reassess. One of the advantages of a loving long term relationship is working with your partner economically and emotionally to create a future, and having to rebuild my life on my own wasn't something I expected, worse things happen at sea though A, also it kinda limited in my geography option's wanting to be near my son and be a good father to him dispute our problems, I ended up at my mum's.
It was around this time that I got my second tattoo, I found the flash on the Internet with the help of Google and headed down to a local studio where I met the artist C,H, my tattoo is a peaceful bear named Boris he represents my love of my family warm bear cuddles, He also has an angry silent side of fire and ferociousness when it comes to thoughs I love. He dances when he is happy and whatever paths my live takes I will always have a reminder of family with me.
With my eagerness to remember the people and events of my passed I have overlooked my reptilian familiar and friend Guinness Morison, springing forth from a hold all with her tale flailing wildly above her body one freaked out lizard had just arrived by motorbike. As the days progressed and her temper and uncertainty calmed we became friends. Sharing my food and living space with a three foot lizard was cool, not having much in the way of funds a proper habitat was never established but making do with the UV strip light attached to my PC and the heat of a gentile radiator cohabitation with a grown reptile was an interesting insight into reptilian species. Though my friend you have now embraced the cold dark of soils embrace as you existed in time so shall you always live if only in the memory of what has gone before. As I sleep what must go through your reptilian mind with your vice like claws, bone whip tail, and needle sharp teeth, yet our familiarity means I may slumber on my sofa while you warm on my radiator and never once was my trust betrayed by attack. Sharing pizza, swimming in the warm water of my bath, then when we moved to the coast exploring the stores with you sat on my shoulders and enjoying the sun of the yard on a warm summer day while you stalked the plants of the garden. O that life should play such a hand as I trapped in the imprisonment of society's mental evaluation so you where trapped in surviving under the care of my hipster stoner brother. I hear you ate well though your disturbance at my absence got you confined to isolation, when next we meet you are week and tired and the last I can do for you is to take you to a veterinary who cares for you as you leave this realm. R.I.P Guinness Morison the lizard queen.
