Don't get tied up in worrying about so-called obligations to other people. You need to think about yourself and your own feelings, and what you can handle and what makes you happy in this moment. It's not all the stuff you are doing - or not doing - but the WORRYING about them that will eventually burn you out.
Well, it sounds like you still know what's important in life--the people you love.
There is nothing wrong with being an in demand kind of guy, but you can't do it all all the time. I think the band is something you really enjoy and it also takes up a lot of your free time. If you love doing it, keep doing it. Your true friends will just be happy that you are happy.
You've got your shit in order. Family first, everything else second. If the things that bring you joy are only creating stress, maybe its time for a new hobby, like allowing yourself some time to breathe! Husband and Dad are demanding jobs, where did you ever find the time to do everything else! I wonder if the cardboard box idea didn't go over with the family due to all of the rain in seattle? Maybe if you promised to wrap it in plastic they'd have a change of heart about it.
Oh, and No, I haven't always had to deal with the uncertainty. I had a steady gig with good pay for 3 years straight. This part is pretty new for me. Blah... It makes me a bit nuts.
