thequestpants

Hei mine venner! I gr jeg kom tilbake fra en flott ferie i Norge!

Ahem...

Ok so my Norwegian's a little rusty - but hey it's virtually a dead language so give a guy a break!

So my friends I finally return. Where have I been all this while?

I was kidnapped.

I was grabbed from a party, taken on a long train ride and then stuffed into a drawer full of Topman & American Apparel abominations! It made my skin crawl to have to rub shoulders with those flashy and vapid y-fronts and boxers. They're not built to last like me baby. I'm the product of 72 years of British know-how and wizardry!

I was trapped in that drawer for weeks. Believe me, Natascha Kampusch had it easy compared to what I had to endure.

But then one glorious day I was pulled out once again into the majestic sunlight by my captor, a man named Zamuzel. He was horrified of the ordeal I had been through and insisted that he had trapped me by accident. To make up for it he promised to take me on a holiday!

And thus my evil captor turned into my heroic Prince!

So we packed our bags and flew off to Oslo in Norway for the weekend. Zamuzel was pretty busy training for something that involved a lot of sweating. So I got to explore these exotic lands.



Oh having the fresh Scandinavian air flow through me was intoxicating. I have never straddled a flag before, it was a real eye-opener. To feel the fabric of a glorious nation frolicking betwixt your crotch is an experience this young fellow shall never forget.



I never knew the weather could be so enchanting this far north! I had a fantastic time relaxing in the sun in middle of a forest. Feeling the water lap at me. It was heaven...



...until I got stranded! I was crying for help for hours. My voice was hoarse. My heart sinking like an anvil thrown into a swimming pool full of Play Doh.

But then my hero Zamuzel returned and plucked me once again from the depths of despair.



As I sat and reflected on the ordeals of the past few months, it struck me that I'm back in the mood for partying! I want to go and causes some trouble and tear it up ol' skool! But where - oh where - shall I go next?

Oh, where???

Hmm...