Wow. Where do I begin with this one?
I could go on for hours about how such comments are not in keeping with the spirit of this site or in keeping with good sense, but you know this already and Im not sure we have the time or stamina to withstand that lil soapbox session from me.

For now, I will say that while I'm all for people having a place to rant, bitch, moan, whine, and generally air their dissatisfaction, I dont think you can't expect to say anything you please and face absolutely no opposition. You cant expect that anywhere, especially in an internet community. Starting a group and thereby establishing a home for your particular viewpoints is no security that your opinions will stand unopposed. (It was a public community after all) If your going to make a statement (however so inappropriate and insulting) you should be prepared to back it upand that means answering up to the occasional PC Police.


On another note...we've talked dirty, hand a few drinks, and ate sushi...........now when are we going to play pool?

at least we know who to watch out for...

You know, honestly, I see both sides of the coin. I see his side as I'm a bitter and extremely vicious asshole when I want to be about women AND men. Being bi is SO not what it's cracked up to be.... Honestly I love a place where I can just vent and yell and scream and know full well I got guys and girls who watch my back there and know how I feel.

But.

I also know your side of it. I'm fighting my urges towards misogynistic and/or chauvanistic stances on things in dating because it's just not productive to me and my goals to actually GROW. I want to grow and just feeling like girls are lazy bitches because one girl jilted me, of her own free will, is damning me to a hell of my own making through stunted emotional growth. I fight the urge to just lash out at girls when I see them do their shit because I know there are a lot of girls who defy and break the standards out there. For them, I'm trying to grow and expand. but I sometimes feel that my hatred for women comes from a much bigger issue of my hatred for much of humanity in general and my striving towards asexuality...

But I digress.

I'm not going to post this to the boards as I felt that it was more appropriate to do it here and now I totally feel that after reading your post on that here. To me, you're doing the best thing possible here. By leaving because the group doesn't fit your needs, you're saying that you don't like what the group is or has become. And if the group doesn't fit then don't be there. Just don't. This applies anywhere in life but especially here on SG. A rant about it on the boards isn't worth the effort; your leaving is a much bigger statement.

And yes, this is a very feminist site....but it's also where men who admire and love women for the right reasons go and a lot of us are LOST. We just have lost the ability to deal and try and dream and relate well with women because we're all so busy playing Everquest. I for one don't buy that Dating Sucks or that all women are lazy bitches or all men are manipulative bastards and/or doormats. We're a lot of variations but the prevailing theme here is anger by males who have lost the ability to be able to just deal and live and relate. Dating Sucks is a place for us, no matter what state of mind we are in.

And believe me, I'm still lost. I'm getting closer to being found...but I'm still lost. So I'm not speaking from the pulpit here.

The point I'm making is this: you may have grown and become disgusted with the fact that Dating Sucks is, a lot of the time, very anti-women. And you left because of that. You did the right thing but you need to know that a place for us needs to exist for NO OTHER REASON then eventually some of us will begin to see that all this bitching and whining doesn't change anything. Change begins from within, life gets better when we MAKE it better. DS needs to continue on the off chance that we might be able to grow and learn from our mistakes. I know I have.

Mayhaps you could start a group for all the people who want to grow as daters and relating people for constructive, moderated, non-judgemental feedback. The good AND the bad. Who knows? I just know that you did the right thing for leaving and we're doing the right thing, for us, by waving you goodbye.

But regardless, you did the right thing. Whatever right is.

Mixed up and proud,
Mark G. AKA BigBlack81

P.S. If you're so refined as you say you are and have posted, I'd like some feedback on the issues I'm going through right now in my journal. I'll do the same for you if you ask. Holla back.

Good for you. I'm glad to took a stand for what you believe in. Let them have their sexist group.

i'm considering unjoining that group as well, mostly because of all the bad mojo. i've been hurt worse than most of the whiny immature brats in that group, and there's too much negative energy and bitterness, and not enough optimism.

if we don't have hope, we have nothing. you're not in the wrong for being the "pc police". misogynists should be shot on site. end of story.

I can see your argument very clearly! I think that it is very funny that on a site like this, where everyone (usually) is respected, and diversity is celebrated, that people are jumping on the bandwagon to call you the PC Police, or that you are in the wrong.

Everyone has the right to voice their own opinion, whether or not someone agrees with it is their problem.

I don't necessarily feel that there are a lot of women-bashing vibes, but I have only been a member about a month, and I probably skimmed over them and ignored them!

Thanks for the compliments too, I am glad you think my opinions are valid. I think it is fantastic that you stand up for what you believe in!!

Have a great day!

Hey man. I just wanted to say I tend to agree with you about the group. Because of the name of the group, I was intrigued, and had my two cents to throw in now and then. And I still do, on occasion. However, the longer I visit it, the more I think it should be called "The group for so-called "nice guys" who bemoan and verbally attack women on a web site because they can't get laid." Yes, I HAVE been this whiny boy before (it was years ago, and not on this site).

I support the intended nature of the group, however, sometimes it feels as though it has degenerated into what I stated above.

But on the other hand, I think that because of the nature of the group, and the nature of the subject matter, it is bound to see more men than women in the group, and many of them are unhappy. So I don't know. But I wanted to say thank you for addressing the issue. I tend to just ignore posts that I don't like, and I'm glad you've addressed it.

Rock on brother!

I like you. Thanks for being likeable.

proud to call ya my friend, why haven't we talked sooner? your journals are awesome.

there are way too many comments like that and people with that mentality. while i am not a feminist, I am an equalist. Two different things.

does that guy wanna heat about bitchy, lazy, stupid women? ok here goes... I am a mommy. I am educated and I use my degree as a chemist every day. I take care of my home, cook, clean, raise a baby by myself, get a tiny bit of child support and no settlement, until my divorce supported a husband who didn't want to work or help out, was abused and destroyed by him, am completely broke and in debt, and never ever expected help, welfare, complained, or asked for money. I live a respectable life with a hard earned paycheck every week, a perfectly clean home, and a happy and healthy child who gets a homecooked meal and all of the energy I have left to play every night.

I handle everything and don't consider myself and cliche "strong woman." I consider myself a person and a parent doing what is right for my family and I take a great deal of pride in that.

glad you let him know that his manners are crappy and quit the group. you did the right thing there and he is completely ridiculous.


PS. we want you to apply for SGNJ. people are nice and silly there. and we all like you...